We are approaching something of a crisis here. I am just about to open my last packet of Bushells Extra Strong tea bags. There are 100 in the bag and we use about 10 per week. So I am looking at running out at the end of September. Now unless someone comes from Australia and brings supplies I am going to have to get ordinary Bushells tea from SimplyOz in Cincinnati.
Wait - I remember - my mate Horse is coming in September and I am going to his daughter’s wedding in New York. For which I will have to buy a suit because all my others have shrunk and I cannot wear my Austrian clobber to a New York wedding.
But this is the least of my problems.
Georgia has started eating shoes so we have had to put these away. She chews so much that at some stage I guess we are going to have to have her jaws replaced. She also seems to eat an enormous amount of mulch - so perhaps I did not get too much after all.
The garden looks like we have moles as she digs everywhere to bury her bones. Cate gasps in dismay but my reaction is much more benign. She is a dog - that is what dogs do - and who wanted there dog?
And in Australia - even in Queensland - there is snow. This will prove beyond doubt to Prime Minister Troglodyte that there is no such thing as global warming and he will start preparing the auto industry to move to coal fired vehicles and ask Kellogg to invent a coal based cereal - perhaps Coalrunchies.
Locally there is much excitement.
The planned big US military exercise has started in the south and the locals are prepared. The exercise is called Jade Helm 15 and a particularly batty conservative radio person says that Helm stands for ‘Homeland Eradication of Local Militia’.
Groups of armed locals are following the army around to see what they do. Others are battening down the hatches and have bought extra guns and ammunition for when Barack arrives to take their guns.
And The Donald is gaining much support for his run at the presidency and is leading the polls in a few states. As he has insulted the Mexicans grossly on many occasions he is not likely to get the Latino vote - but will soak up all the while male redneck ones.
Meanwhile I imagine the Republican machine is contemplating whether or not they can have him killed. and Hillary and her team spend a lot of time rolling on the floor laughing.
I just did not imagine that it would be this much fun.