Tuesday, October 21, 2014

It won't take long

So I appear to be getting better and my headaches are receding.

The first bill has come in from the 911 wagon run from Eskenazi   Health. This was a trip of 1.3 miles – 4 minutes – 5 blocks.

The bill - $1703.69.

Eskenazi used to be named Wishard – after the doctor who lived in our house from 1907-1941 – but I did not get a discount for that.

The good news is that so far my health fund has approved my first night’s stay in hospital. No news on the operation or the rest of the stay. I have every confidence in them to come through on this one.

We drove 70 blocks yesterday to have my stitches out and made an appointment to see the doctors and have another scan in November.

My next lot of IV stuff arrives thus afternoon. I am apparently going to be taking this for the next four weeks.

Today I am taking the family to see Costco. They have one in Sydney but need too make a comparison. If they are lucky they will also get to see Fresh Market and Whole Foods – and maybe even Trader Joe’s.

Of course they have yet to see the sights of Indianapolis - but this won’t take long at all.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Take your vomit and go

So before I was interrupted by brain surgery I was going to tell you about applying for a replacement driver’s license – because your license has been stolen.

You sit down in front of the BMV clerk thinking – well I do have a driver’s license  – it is still current – they have all my details – last time I gave them my passport – birth certificate – I94 – social security card – proof of residence – visa approval – they took copies of everything – I have my passport with me - well this will be a simple process.

Unfortunately the female clerk sees things differently.

I am an alien life form – possibly from planet Jupiter or worse – the (shriek) middle east – who is most likely a terrorist – and spent last night building bombs.

So before the clerk calls security she asks to see my passport. She peruses it very carefully indeed. She spends some time staring intently at her computer screen. This does not give her the answers she requires so she opens her top drawer and removes some hand written sheets of notes.

Where is your I94?

But you saw it already. You have a copy here. Truly - I gave you a copy last time. I still have a visa – it is in my passport which lies before you.

But I want to see it again. The rules say we have to see the I94.

Back in the car – home to get the I94.

Next time I see a man.

I triumphantly place my passport and I94 before him.

Ah good I see you have your I94 – do you have your social security card?

Jesus wept. How many times do you want to see this? You have photocopies of it. I saw you take them in this very boutique not twelve months ago.

But I want to see it again. The rules say we have to see the social security card.

Back in the car – home to get the social security card.

We are now two hours into the process.

Each time I get to the BMV I have to take a number and wait.

Number 360? That’s ME!

I see you have your I94 and social security card. Do you have a two proofs of residence.

No – I have six! You cannot get me on that one.

That will be 244.

Two hundred and forty four dollars?

No  - $2.44

Cheapest deal in town!

And here is your brand new license copy. The original will be mailed to you – perhaps before it expires in 2015.

However – do not expect to use your brand new temporary license for anything. It is useless.

You may have – for example – but suffering from a brain abscess and have just been to a medical clinic where a doctor gave you a prescription for pain killers.

You may need to get these scripts filled – in between crying and vomits onto your sneakers – at the same pharmacy you have always used – and where everyone knows you by name.

You have no license. We need to see your passport. Take your vomit and go.

Friday, October 17, 2014

This is how it works here

I am feeling much better and would like to do things. I am not sure what – but something. Cate will not let me go anywhere so I am still mooching about the house. I did the ironing but that took only an hour – back to square one.

Molly caught me in the basement getting chicken stock for Lizzie so I guess I will be in trouble for that as well. Someone also caught me sneaking out to the recycling bin. I suspect Molly again – but do not trust anyone.

I am allowed to lie down and stare into space but there is a limit to how long you can do this without thinking about George Bush and Iraq – and then all sorts of weird things enter your head.

Molly and Biggles leave today but Lenny and Carmenchita and Yossi arrive on Sunday. At least Lenny will not rat on me like Molly does.

There is a light out in the downstairs bathroom and I am desperate to fix this – but I am not allowed near ladders – even small ones. Sounds like a job for Lenny.

I think I was probably very lucky ending up where I did. Methodist apparently has one if the best neuroscience labs in the country. All the doctors and nurses were just marvelous -   even if they did wake me every hour during the night and give me a faulty IV. One night it said ‘Rabbit’ every seven seconds for about six hours.

I was thrilled to see that the maximum we can pay for medical services to our insurer each year is $14,200.

I am certain we will pay this amount and the hospital and insurance company can fight over the other hundreds of thousands for years to come.

This is how it works here.