Monday, July 6, 2015

A new entry for the Darwin Awards

Georgia sleeps with her friend the wheelbarrow
Georgia graduated from dog school on Friday and she was give a special bandana to mark the occasion. We have a long way to go but she will sometimes obey commands – especially if there is a treat involved.

We have something called the Gentle Leader which is a sort of harness thing that goes over her neck and nose and this is to stop her from pulling us along the street. It works amazingly well and she is very happy to wear it because she knows that when it appears she is going for a walk.

Georgia and the cats survived 4 July very well and the many loud bangs did not bother them at all. In fact we started to think that Georgia was deaf – but she isn’t.

Only two people were killed by fireworks in Indianapolis – which is about the average number killed by gunfire each weekend. In recognition of 4 July there were no homicides over the weekend -leaving the police free to deal with fireworks problems.

In the idjit department a fool in Maine strapped a ‘mortar’ firework to his head and set it off – removing most of his head and becoming immediately eligible for a Darwin award.

In the Australian idjit award Barnaby Joyce – the Minister for Agriculture – says that if Australia adopts same sex marriage then the Asians will think that we are decadent.

This is the same Barnaby Joyce who is a creationist and has been called an idjit to his face by no less a person than Richard Dawkins. 

I wonder what the Asians think of a government that is so worried about the beatings, murders, suicides, self-mutilation and rapes of refugees it keeps in detention offshore that it has passed legislation - to jail for two years - any worker in those centers – including the doctors and nurses – who talks about the ghastly mayhem that takes in those places.

This is where we have come to in Australian in 2015.

It makes me ashamed.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

I will have the hose ready

For the first two days I had to carry Georgia into dog school and she fought me all the way. She is on her fourth day now and I can lead her into the dog school - once I get her out of the car. But she is fine once she gets inside and there is much excitement and tail wagging when she sees the teachers and the other dogs.

She is exhausted when she gets home - from all the playing and instruction - and just crashes most of the time. Sissi has taken to coming downstairs and sitting and looking at her lying in her bed. 

This is progress.

She does not appear to be intellectually gifted but if she puts her mind to it she can sit, lie down and stay. At the moment we are training her to walk without pulling our arms out of their sockets.

In the meantime Antonio has been scraping for three days. Apparently (surprise!) when he got into the job he found a lot more problems and rot in some of the timber up high. He is certainly right as I have seen the stuff that he has been pulling out. This is 30 feet off the ground so there is no chance of seeing it from below.

Today he has moved on from scraping and has started painting which will take another day. Then he will move inside and there will be more scraping and banging. This is actually hard to hear as he listens to a Spanish speaking radio station and he has it very loud. I guess he has to if he is perched 30 feet in the sky. 

I have tested the weed muncher and it is a ball tearer. It goes like the clappers and feeds its own line. I am so pleased I may do the vacant lot across the road. 

It is 4 July on Saturday and I have out our flag out. We will be having a barbecue and dodging the missiles as they cascade down from the sky. I will have the hose ready in case the house catches on fire. 

Monday, June 29, 2015

I am very confident

Sometimes she sleeps - Bliss!
Today is Georgia’s first day in dog school. This was not a happy occasion for either of us and she reaffirmed that if she does not want to go somewhere then the only way to get her there is to carry her. It is  not easy to open a door carrying a struggling 40 pound dog. 

I hope the day is not as bad as the start. At dog school - which is called ‘Bark Tutor’ - she will learn the commands for sitting and lying down and dropping things and leaving things and walking with a slack lease.

Well I never imagined gay marriage would happen so soon in America either so I suppose anything is possible. 

So tomorrow she will know where she is going. If she has a bad day today then tomorrow I will have to truss her up with gaffer tape just to get her into the car. 

John and Antonio are coming tomorrow to do repairs. These are the types of repairs that I cannot do. That is - you need more than a hammer. 

We have a very old house and occasionally it creaks and groans and great cracks appear. Antonio is an expert at fixing these. Of course he can never match the paint so cannot paint just the repair but has to do the whole wall.

I have bought a new weed eater. 

My existing electric weed eater - which cost $40 so you cannot expect much  - was just like every weed eater I have ever had.  It does not dispense eating line the way they say it should so I spend an inordinate amount of time delving about in its gizzards to get the line to poke out so that I can eat some weeds. 

I did this for the umpteenth time on Friday and on the last occasion I failed to put it back together properly so the whole damn thing disintegrated and the spool of line disappeared into space and is probably by now in Minnesota. 

My new weed eater is battery powered so I do not have to drag a power cord behind me all the time. It is also supposed to be an excellent line feeder. And there is only one line -  so no matter what happens it just has to be easier. 

But I have read quite a few Amazon reviews and am very confident.