Friday, January 30, 2015

Muppy and the Lambkins go to the Zoo

I am up to my ears again in the US tax return. This is still being done for us by PWC – this is the last year – but I still have to fill out all the data which is tedious beyond all belief. It is absolutely astonishing the things the IRS wants to know.

A man is coming next week to count our socks and underwear.

I posted a blog last nite and had a bit of a rant about politicians but I deleted it because no one wants to read that stuff. Well – maybe I will have a small rant.

Yes I know I am not an American but I do live here – and Cate pays taxes here and in Australia so I feel entitled to rant about both countries.

Rant begins

I signed a petition asking Elizabeth Warren to run for President. She is much too smart to do that – but it is a nice thought – she would make a great President.

She is real and honest – and hates the robber barons who are destroying the country.

And I can’t vote – but I can hope.

I can hope that congress would work to build America – to improve the lives of the underprivileged – to build the crumbling infrastructure – to improve the environment – to get everyone covered by health insurance – to get a minimum wage that allows people to live without getting food stamps – that makes the top 1% pay the same rate of tax as average wage earners.

Rant ends

But hey – we are making progress. The senate voted 98-1 that climate change is real and not a hoax. Even Jim Inhofe who wrote  ‘The greatest hoax – how the climate change conspiracy threatens your future’.

He says now that his book has been misunderstood. It was supposed to be called ‘Muppy and the Lambkins go to the Zoo.’


But they ran into a few problems when they had to vote on whether or not we the people had anything to do with it. Most Republicans could not go that far – and especially not if they were running for President – but we are making progress.

I know you are desperate to know who voted against. It was R Wicker (R) of Mississippi.

He will now become a Fox regular.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Help a baby elephant

Today my task is to ask for money. Not for me but for elephants.

As I have mentioned before - Cate has decided to participate in a 7 day walk across the Sahara desert in Jordan.   

It is part of the 4 Deserts race series – and yes, there are people even madder than her who do all 4 deserts in one year. 

She will spend 8 to 14 March trudging across the desert with all her  belongings on her back for 150 miles. The penultimate day is 56 miles.

When she arrives in Petra I will collect the remains and deposit them in a delicious hotel to try to bring her back to life.

We have been supporting the extraordinary work of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust for some time – ever since Cate’s sister in law visited their refuge outside Nairobi. 

Coincidentally it turns out that the US Friends of the Trust are actually located here in Indianapolis. 

I won’t try to describe the work they do as I cannot do it justice but please take a minute to watch a very short video about the rescue of Ndotto.

If you would like to help baby elephants this is Cate’s page.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

An office temp with a bad attitude

I have had so much to do I have not had time to blog.

Also I have been transfixed by our Prime Mister who gave an Australian award to the Duke of Edinburgh. I thought someone was pulling my leg when I first heard about it – but it is true.

It is impossible to explain the inappropriateness and unadulterated awfulness of this to a non-Australian - so I will not try.

It will suffice to say that Tony Abbott has cemented his place in history as a brainless, steaming, honking plonker of epic proportions.

In the meantime Cate is still plowing along on the walk thing. She had to do a stress test to get a medical certificate and sign a form saying if she dropped dead it was her own fault – which of course it is.

She is going to fundraise for the David Sheldrick Trust which looks after elephants – as far as I can see mainly orphaned ones – of which there are many.

National Geographic says that poachers have killed 100,000 elephants in the last three years.

Whenever I see stuff like this  I am reminded of the late great George Carlin.

He said something like:

‘Look around you and see what is happening in the world. Does this look like the work of a supreme being. To me it looks more like the work of an office temp with a bad attitude.’

Friday, January 23, 2015

I think it is unfair

I think it’s unfair that the party not in power in the White House has to attend the State of the Union address from the President.

They all have to sit there po-faced while the President skites about what he has done and what he wants to do. They cannot clap unless the military is mentioned and must sit there in grim silence for more than an hour sitting on their hands while the other party shouts and screams and claps and gives standing ovations.

The Leader of the House has the worst job – he has to sit behind the President -  in full view all the time - and try not to look like he would rather be anywhere else – including Mars – and has not just eaten a very large portion of cat poo.

He failed on both counts. 

It is great theater and I love it.

Everybody knows that nothing at all will get done in the next two years but the Presidential race is starting already - yes I know the election is not until November 2016 – and it should be great fun.

The photo shows the Cat Lookout in all its glory – and complete with cat. It is a rousing success so far. It gives the cats an unparalleled view of the squirrels and birds and they can nap while the action is happening outside.
There is room for only one cat – I may have to build a double-decker.

In the meantime – in Indiana – there is a group trying to get approval through the state legislature that will allow alcohol sales on Sunday. 

Yes – Indiana is the only state in the Union that does not allow alcohol sales on Sunday.  

No this is not because of religious reasons but because the small liquor stores – who are the only people who can sell cold beer (supermarkets have to sell it warm) have had such a powerful lobby. I know it does not make sense but it is Indiana.  

The woman running the program for the Republicans just had to resign because she was caught driving while tanked. 

Someone called Rick Owens had a fashion show in Paris and displayed his Penis Coat. This is a coat that opens at the front so everyone can see your willy flopping about.

What a bonzer idea – I may get one – I can think of a few places in Indianapolis where this would go really well.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

sometimes I just despair

Today is Squirrel Appreciation Day. I gave our Squirrels some extra corn and bird feed and told them how much we appreciate them.

I did not tell them that in Indiana it will soon be legal to trap Otters and sell their fur. I also did not tell them that it will soon be legal to trap Squirrels and sell their pelts.

Apparently Otters were exterminated in the 1940s due to habitat loss and unregulated trapping.

Now that the little blighters have recovered – let’s exterminate them again. The Syrian government is having a special on barrel bombs at the moment – let’s get some of those.

The article goes on to say that

“One fur-buying website says it will pay up $6 for a complete squirrel skin in its winter coat for taxidermy purposes so long as it has "no large holes, no head shots, may have up to two .22 (caliber bullet) holes in body."

At least one company also buys squirrel tails to use the long hair to make fishing lures. A premium squirrel tail fetches $.26.

Squirrels are a popular game animal in Indiana, and appetizing if cooked correctly.”

To which I might ask – you need two bullets to kill a squirrel? 

Based on this Moshe, Lynette, Angus and Marjorie are worth $24 – or I could just de-tail them and collect $1.04.

Sometimes I just despair about the society in which we live.