Sunday, November 29, 2015

Is anyone surprised?

So we met the relatives – who incidentally are Mongolian. Most of them live in the USA but we had a few from Ulan Bator who brought us up to speed on a city about which we know nothing - but we have been assured that we should visit. It is apparently the world’s coldest capital city and also one of the most polluted.

The Thanksgiving dinner preparation was quite exciting as the new oven in which the turkey was being cooked did not work properly and there was some panic and a bit of shouting. I had to leave the kitchen on a couple of occasions as the tension was giving me a headache.

It was all sorted out eventually and the calming influence of wine settled everyone down.

On the way in to Washington I took some hand cream and toothpaste and these caused no problems in Indianapolis. They caused great consternation in Washington and had to be confiscated – and my bagged checked for explosives.

Cate – at the other security line – brought through two bottles of water without anyone noticing.

On the plane Cate read an article about how the head of the TSA was sacked because there had been 70 tests to see if explosives and firearms could be taken through security without detection. 67 of these tests failed to detect the explosives and firearms.

Is anyone who has ever been though security surprised about this?

The photo is of the tree starting to shed its leaves. You cannot see the hundreds of leaves fluttering to the ground so you will just have to take my word that it is happening.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

There is a little bit less to wash

I have been too discombobulated by everything to think about blogging.

Anyway my daughter in Paris – Molly – has had another boy – Puggles – brother to Biggles. This is my fourth grandchild and I will go to Paris soon to see him.

Our mulberry tree has finally dropped its leaves. Each year – on a particular day – it decides it is has had enough and all the leaves flutter to the ground. It takes a few hours - and it is quite a sight.

That meant that next day was leaf mulching day and to celebrate the occasion my leaf mulching bag broke. So I mulched the leaves and fired them into space and then collected them and many unmulched leaves and put them in bags.

When my new bag arrives I shall mulch all he leaves and put them on the garden.

Tomorrow we are going to Washington for Thanksgiving with Cate’s brother and sister-in-law.  This will be an event of epic proportions as my nephew has just had a baby and there are 16 relatives of the mother coming. I know that seems rather a lot and I am not sure why it is happening – but I have learned that it is better to go quietly with the flow.

Fortunately there are plenty of places in the house where one can sit quietly and have a glass of wine without being disturbed too much.

The dog has gone to be with Michelle and her two dogs for a few days. Today she is called ‘the dog’ because last night she ate a squeaky rubber ball and then vomited it onto the bed at 5:00 am this morning.

Yesterday she ate my beanie and before that it was a remote control. I take full responsibly for this because I should keep a closer eye on her. I should know that whenever she is quiet – and is chewing – it is likely to be something that I really don’t want chewed.

Cate would like to replace the sheets and bed cover because they are full of holes but I am not replacing them until Georgia has grown up a bit and is no longer in full time chewing mode. In the meantime I just wash what remains of the sheets and the cover – and each time there is just a little bit less to wash.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Have you smelled a Gyro?

It just never stops.

Hordes of ISIL fighters disguised as Syrian refugees are about to descend upon America – wreaking destruction and havoc wherever they go.

A family of four which has been waiting for three years to come to Indiana has been thwarted in their dastardly attempts at mayhem and carnage by our very own governor - who has refused to accept them.

No – they will not be able to create chaos by buying diapers in Marsh – or taking up the see-saw in the local park – or even eating that evil middle eastern food in local restaurants!

What a man! What courage! Who could ask for more in a governor?

But wait – the governor of Connecticut has said that he will take them! What a brave man that he would sacrifice the lives of his citizens just so some homeless refugees can have a life without being bombed and poisoned by their very own idjit asshole.  

And many governors are doing the same thing for their citizens. The land of the free is the home of the brave. Unless you are Syrian.

The National Guard has staked out the local Gyro shop. This may be a hotbed of insurrection. Well sure it is Greek - but they all come from over there somewhere – and certainly cannot be trusted. 

I mean have you smelled a Gyro? 

Sometimes I feel like I am at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party – or wading like a drugged wombat through fields of molasses. I refuse to believe what is happening at the moment because it is just too surreal.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

I was going to have a rant

I was going to have a really good rant about things in general but particularly about journalists and politicians. We are talking about a country where two honking lunatics lead the polls for the nomination for president.

But I will just be wearing myself to a frazzle so I will not bother. And no one cares.

I have been thinking about getting old lately. Well - older actually because I am already oldish.

Because I read a lot on the internet I come across many interesting sites such as ‘celebrities who have aged badly’ or ‘child stars who grew up ugly’.

Now I must admit that some of the child stars did not grow up to be beautiful by any standards - but they are all God’s children so we must make allowances.

He does – after all – have a lot on his mind – so cannot spend to much time worrying about the looks of individuals. Having said that – he sure took his eye off the ball with some of them. But who am I to talk.

But speaking of celebrities getting old – well everyone gets old but - if you were at some stage a good looking celebrity - you are fair game for the internet.

These internet people will show a picture of you at your brightest and finest – and then will show a picture of you as a ravaged hairless husk lurking in the fruit section of a supermarket.

You look like an emaciated musk rat with consumption – but it was early in the morning and you had run out of Kale and Quinoa so had to pop out before doing your makeup.

So now everyone has a camera in their phone and 600 pictures of you appear on social media within the next five minutes.

But most of the celebrities don’t look much worse than I do. Sure there are some exceptions. Goldie Hawn – for example – looks like a sun dried tomato – but I really think that people should be allowed to get old without having to see their pictures everywhere.

In my case I occasionally see my face in the mirror and have a quick shudder – but I don’t have to worry about appearing on the internet.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Who can blog on a day like today.

Molly and Gaston and Biggles are OK. 

They are a bit shaken up because one of the restaurants that was attacked is quite near them and is one they go to.

I knew they would not be out and about last night because Biggles is two – and Puggles  is due any day.

Who can blog on a day like today.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

It would run for years

The local police and council excelled themselves today. Because of Veterans Day they closed off all the side streets leading into Delaware street.

Then they closed off Delaware street – three lanes out of four – removed a person hole cover in the road – and sat around smoking and laughing at the motorists who took an hour to drive one block and had no way to escape.

Fabulous stuff – equal in its scope to the annual ant census in Vienna – although not quite as creative.

We have a recycling bin. We have to pay for this as recycling is not big in Indianapolis but we do this because we cannot bear the thought of all those wine bottles going into landfill. 

Our bin has one wheel. It had two but someone stole one. Which is fair enough – anyone in this area knows that if you leave something outside it will be stolen.

This includes bikes, barbecues, lawn mowers (these are especially prized), porch furniture, garden furniture and hoses. It would be better if they had stolen both wheels because the bin is now lopsided.

If you don’t leave anything outside then the thieves will break into your garage to steal things. Best to leave something on your front porch each night to save the hassle of getting the garage door fixed.

Nightly routine – let the dog outside to do dog things - check that the windows and doors are locked – make sure the coffee machine is ready to go for the morning heart starter – leave something on the porch for the thieves.

The last debate was very boring. It was hosted by Fox so no one was ever going to be asked anything hard to answer. Like is the world more than 6,000 years old – or was President Obama born in the USA.

Carly Fiorina won the lying competition – yes again! This woman is unbeatable.

But the whole thing is becoming quite bizarre. Commentators – other than Fox ones – are now treating Trump and Carson as though they are not demented. This is a sinister turn of events.

This whole thing should go on Broadway – it would run for years.