Wednesday, January 20, 2016

If I hear one more peep

Georgia loves the snow
We had lots more snow last night and more is on the way.

We have also discovered that Georgia does not like the beeping noise that occurs when the front foyer smoke alarm battery needs replacing. This needed to be done at 3:15 am (of course) and Georgia went quite funny.

She slunk around with her tail between her legs and would not come near either of us. So anyway I got the ladder and climbed up and changed the battery.

Now I should not be anywhere near a ladder let alone at 3:15 am but I did it anyway on the basis that otherwise Georgia – and possibly Cate - would have to be sedated.

Incidentally I read that most people who fall off ladders and are badly damaged are my age or older and hit their heads. So I should wear a bicycle helmet when I climb ladders – which I might add I am not allowed to do – except in emergencies – like a smoke alarm at 3:15 am.

Turns out that the new battery I put in did not have enough juice  so the beeping started again at about 7:30 am. So I took the battery from the smoke alarm in the basement – and it did not work either – and the basement smoke alarm started beeping – even when I put the battery back.

So I hurtled down to the hardware store and got new batteries and put them in the two smoke alarms. This did not stop them beeping and then the hall alarm started beeping in sympathy with the other two.

Perhaps the batteries were no good? - so I then went to the supermarket for hopefully fresher batteries. This fixed the foyer and hall alarms. I could not stop the basement one so I tore it out of the roof and disconnected the wires.

At 4:15 am the next morning the foyer smoke alarm started beeping again. Georgia jumped of the bed and hurtled to the back door.  Foolishly – I let her out.

I grabbed my pliers – I had left the ladder there – and tore the alarm out of the roof and disconnected it.  Then I went to let Georgia in – but she would not come in – and it was snowing very heavily indeed and was well below freezing.

I could not let her stay there so as I had bare feet I put on Cate’s flip flops and leapt into the snow – in my underpants – which is all I had on.

By the Lord Harry it was cold.

Georgia would not come near me so I had to come back inside and get the dog lead – to pretend that we were going walkies at 4:30 am in the blinding snow?

Fortunately Georgia is not all that bright so I managed to catch her and bundle her inside. I sat in front of the fire for a while until I was sure that I was not going to die.

I did not ring Cate – who was in the Carolinas somewhere – because she would tell me that I should not have let Georgia out because she is frightened by the alarms and will not come back in. As I already knew this I no longer needed this advice.

Tomorrow I am going to Gander Mountain to buy a shotgun and some really heavy gauge shot.  If I hear one more peep out of a smoke alarm I am going to blow it kingdom come.


  1. Good grief, what an ordeal! But I still larfed.

  2. I am so glad that a neighbor did not film me and put it in YouTube

  3. Ah, YouTube, yes you are lucky. Maybe the alarms themselves need replaced.

  4. Objects placed on walls (smoke detectors, lamps, clocks, paintings, etc) should be installed sufficiently low to avoid the need for a ladder.

  5. fmc: Yes I have bought new ones to be used immediately.

    William: I certainly agree with that.

  6. I hope your house hasn't found a way to burn down veRy slowly and there was actually microsmoke.

    I think Pepper and/or My Wife will have to be replaced. He has caused a variety of mischief eating or trying to eat things, such as TV remotes. But I told her it is her fault as she had been warned. But she is lazy in this aspect, and blames Pepper.

  7. esb: It is clearly your wife's fault for leaving things out for Pepper to eat. You cannot part with either of them.

    1. I don't think Esby could survive without his entire crew, he is a people/critter person.

    2. You are both absolutely correct, amazing. The Wifey just got a new carpet cleaner which will improve (de-dog-effect-ify) the environment...