It would be easier if you could lend it to me for an hour

I would look good in this!

I got Cate out of the furniture section eventually and dragged her to the crockery section. This was a complete failure and it took her less than 10 seconds to scan every item of crockery and reject each item as being entirely unsuitable.

She has this uncanny ability to assess things without actually looking at them. It might be a Cate thing (but could well be a girl thing). She can walk past a clothing store and cast a fleeting glimpse into the window and say ‘there is nothing in there that I would like!’

Now ’Nothing’ is a big call. But I know from experience that she is right. If she went in there she would assess every item of clothing within seconds and we would be back on the street.

In my case – for menswear stores – there are things that I would like but that would be entirely unsuitable. I am as good at buying clothes as I am at buying furniture – which is why I am not allowed to buy clothes on my own - ever. And with almost no exceptions these days – I don’t – because there is nothing I hate more than having to take clothing back for a refund straight after I have bought it. (Actually I hate Meryl Streep more than this - but that’s another story).

On the very rare occasion I have seen something and just had to buy it - I have tried to convince the Sales Assistant that he/she would be better off just lending it to me for an hour or so (I would leave my watch as security) and this would save having to sell it to me and then do a refund. I am all for preventing hassle – but they are never interested –except when I return within the hour.

‘May I ask why you are returning this item sir?’

‘Certainly. My wife says it is the wrong sort of clothing for me, it is the wrong color, it is the wrong size, it looks like it came from an Op Shop and if I was going to keep it I would also need a matching funny red nose and clown shoes’.

Of course I don’t return everything. I once bought 20 T-Shirts on sale and Cate hated the Death Metal and Hell’s Angels themes and told me to take them back. I could not face this so they are still in a box in the basement. It seemed like a good idea at the time – and I was only going to wear them around the house - and they were very cheap.

Now crockery looks like crockery to me. They are sort of white plate and cup-like things that you eat off. But apparently they are all different – even if to me they look the same. (Except of course for our old set - which looks like it has been used for Clay Shooting. Pull!)

So we went to Interio where they have a very small selection of crockery but had just what we (Cate) wanted.

Except that it does not come in boxes. There are enormous piles of plates and things and you take the number you want – wrap them in tissue paper - and Schlepp them to the Kassa. This is not as easy as it sounds.

This system actually works quite well  - and saves on cardboard - but it is a bit scary getting it all home in one piece.

As we always do – we decided that some of our old stuff was worth keeping – so now still have some of the old crappy stuff and the new stuff crammed together in the cupboards.

We bought dinner plates so large that they do not fit in the dishwasher. They will be useful for tobogganing when the snow arrives. 

Cate is in Dubai. Only one more trip after this for the rest of the year. Yippee!.