Sex shop vandal is a Muslim Fiaker driver

The pic is one of Ben in Bangkok. The hotel staff prop him up on Cate's vast bed with an orchid under his arm.

I am posting early on account of its my Birthday tomorrow and I need to celebrate by riding to Bregenz and back. This will take a while.

There was apparently some consternation that the drop in readership would cause me to stop writing the Blog. This is not the case and as long as at least one demented reader remains I will Blog.

Merisi may have to increase her visits to 10 a day to keep my spirits up.

I am collecting Melissa from the airport tonight and we will probably go nightclubbing – or maybe just go home and have a glass of Mineralwasser mit Gaz.

Up until last night I thought that OAP was an acronym for an Austrian political party as it appears often in the newspaper. On closer reading I found that it is an acronym for Old Age Person (or Pensioner).

Just as elsewhere, in Austria you are classified by what you are rather than what you have done. If you are old you cannot just be found on a bathroom floor or run over by a tram you are an ‘OAP found on bathroom floor’ or ‘OAP run over by tram’.

I bet you have never seen ‘short fat lady with handlebar moustache eaten by lion’. It would be ‘woman eaten by lion’ unless she was retired – when it would be ‘OAP with handlebar moustache eaten by lion’

Another weird example from the Austrian Times yesterday is:

“Sex shop vandal is a Muslim Fiaker driver

A serial sex shop vandal has been revealed as a Muslim Fiaker horse-carriage driver.Cops arrested Zoltan L. last week for more than 80 attacks on sex shops in which he blocked door locks with super glue, poured acid on shop windows and plastered them with newspapers, leaving damages of around 180,000 Euros.But they said today (Mon) that the 38-year-old was a converted Muslim "who looked like a Taliban" with a long beard. He admitted religious reasons had been behind the vandalism spree.Fiaker horse-carriage wagons are a top tourist attraction in the capital. Tourists line up in the city centre and at the Schönbrunn park for a ride.”

Zoltan L?

Muslim Fiaker horse-carriage driver?

Looked like a Taliban?

Fiaker horse-carriage wagons are a top tourist attraction in the capital?

Who writes this stuff. How would he have been described him if he was Muslim Sales Assistant at Billa? Would they have explained what Billa was and what a sales assistant does?

“Billa is a chain of stores which sells food and household items. These are placed strategically around the city so that people can buy food and stuff. They sell things like potatoes and milk. You should eat things like this if you don’t want to die.”

I leave you with

“Lower Austrian bison farmer Hannes Bohinc beat off stiff competition to win the Powerboat Grand Prix of the Sea off Malta yesterday”.

Bison farmer? Power Boat Grand Prix? Sea off Malta?

Who is looking after the Bison while he is flambling round in the Sea off Malta?