There is a flaw in the 'Horse for Muffin' plans

Cate - I think there is a duck under here!

I went to the Feuerhaus in Gumpendorferstrasse to buy some gloves for when we are stoking the fire and stopping the red hot Sushi rolls from incinerating Muffin. On the way home it started to snow so I stopped to do up my Siberian Elk Hunters hat - which was flapping in the breeze.

I put my parcels on a narrow ledge next to a window and pressed against it while I did up my hat. My nose was very close to the window glass and as my fingers were cold it took some fiddling to get it right.

As I was making ready to resume my journey I realised with horror that I was peering into a room in which three pregnant women were lying on the floor exercising.

I was of course gone in a flash and I hope they didn’t see me leering in at them – grimacing as I did my cap up. I went like the clappers down the street and around the corner and shook off any pursuers in the snow. How would I explain that to Cate.

‘You have been arrested for WHAT?’

The flaw in the 'Horse for Muffin' plans has been pointed out to us. The horse won’t fit into the elevator and we can hardly make it walk up and down six flights of stairs every time we take it out for a gallop around the courtyard. Apart from anything else it would make a hell of a racket.

Also, inevitably it will be more intelligent than Muffin (who I regret to say is not intellectually gifted) and this is likely to cause friction.

‘Hey, why is the cat riding ME? I am the smart one here.’

As a side issue I mention that I have been trying out Muffin on a number of different types of cat food and have had some notable successes. I have managed to move away from the usual slop to such things as ‘Toasted Moose Ears in Aspic’ and ‘Grilled Panda Gizzards with Bamboo Sauce’.

She also likes Tiramisu and Prager Ham and will kill for Spaghetti Bolognese.

On the home front I made Mrs Henderson’s Three Potato Hotpot again but could only get one type of potato so it became a ‘One Potato and One Carrot Hotpot’ – but was outstanding nevertheless.

I also had a notable success with my first Hungarian Goulash Soup from the Plachutta Recipe Book. It was judged by those participating to be outstanding – if perhaps in need a smidgen more Paprika. We will fix this next time.

There are many interesting recipes in this book but I have torn out all the pages that mention calf’s heads and the livers of any animal at all.

I have received a lovely photo of Billy from the two Es (Emma and Erin) who were his cat minders in Sydney. I shall post this on Flickr. Also another letter from Anna.

I have made a booking for the weekend after next at Bad Ischl which they say is lovely – and I am sure they are right. Rozalin is going to look after Muffin.

Rozalin is also going to monster the people who are supposed to be fixing our heating to see if she can get anything to happen. If nothing happens she is going to play Rammstein outside their office until they cave in (I’d give it an hour at the most).

Will and Kris are coming this weekend so I am laying in more supplies of wood as we have to keep the fire going at night if we are going to stay in the living room.

I attach – without comment - the following quote from the Sydney Morning Herald

“Australia's "man of steel'', the former prime minister John Howard, has been honoured by the President of the United States, George W Bush, for his role as a staunch ally of the US in the fight against terrorism.

Receiving the award in the lavish East room of the White House, where the famous portrait of George Washington hangs, Mr. Howard looked chuffed as Mr. Bush, a close friend, pinned the Congressional Medal of Freedom, the US's highest civilian award, around his neck.”

There is so much I could say – but as John Howard was bounced at the last election and it is Inauguration Day next week I will continue to take my medication and will not comment.