Friday, July 2, 2010

Too good to pass up - Australian humor

Well I am practically on my way to Australia but I saw this and thought it was too good not to share. 
Ryanair is proposing (so they say) to introduce standing areas in the planes. These will be cheap and allow them to put more people on the planes. It is probably a publicity stunt - but some of the comments by readers of the Sydney Morning Herald are too good not to share:

Why not introduce traveling in coffins - easy stacking, space saving, passengers can be induced into a coma and sleep their way to their destinations....all for a fabulous discount!!
Why don't they use shelves instead, just like book shelves. They can pack more in. Next, they will charge passengers for oxygen.
Probably the cheapest fare Ryanair could offer is for people who don't go. That way you would just pay say $1 irrespective of where you aren't going, plus airport taxes and charges of course. Guaranteed safety too. In fact they could charge $100 or so if you want flight insurance and toilets would be free depending where you didn't board from.
What about vacuum packing passengers?
How do you assume the brace position?
There's something very Silence of The Lambs about this setup...if they can work out how to legally put a cage over your mouth so you can't complain their job will be done. When you check in they strap you into this bad boy, then you are wheeled into the customs inspection area where, suitably restrained, officers can search you without having to worry about you moving. Then, straight onto the plane, pushed by trained monkeys!
Please note that the shelves, coffins or vacuum packing will be offered - unpacking will however cost you 50 pounds or else you will need to be ejected via the rubbish chute.
I don't think they've put enough thought into the options available to passengers who decide not to pay to use the toilet.
I think its a great idea! I wouldn't do it myself of course, but makes a lot of sense! Maybe they could fit the seats in reverse, so we could all sit and watch the people standing, would be great entertainment!
I think it would be much easier of they made everyone were velcro vests, took everything out from the interior and then just packed the people in so they all stuck to each other - you would provide a few roof mounted hand straps for people to hold onto, but otherwise the lack of space ensures nobody gets thrown around (kinda of a bit like the Japanese subway) - just think in the average 737 you could probably triple the capacity!


  1. Can't see where standing saves space, according to that diagram.

  2. You are right Steph. I think the Velcro is the best way to save space.

  3. I heard this as a plan for short-haul flights of less than one hour. Effectively that's between Britain and Ireland (maybe Holland). Frankly, I'd be up for it if it only cost a pound!