It's a miracle

Holy Guacamole - Steve Jobs has apologized to iPhone users over reception issues.

Mr Jobs said that 

"We're going to do whatever it takes to make them happy and if we can't make them happy we're going to give them a full refund and say we're really sorry we inconvenienced you, and we're going to do better next time."

Mr Jobs said that all iPhone users would get a new protective case and those who had already bought these would get a refund.

Mr Jobs went on to say that this was the first time he had ever apologized for anything - including setting his first grade teacher’s dress alight, spiking his Aunt Bessie’s bra with super glue and wiring up his Uncle Herbert's cow to the national electricity grid. 

Mr Jobs  said that his usual response to complaints was to find where the person lived and personally go round to their house to give them a good beating, torch their car and poison their dog.

But he said that he had recently seen a movie with Ben Affleck and realized the complete futility of life itself. He had decided to dance like no one was watching and apologize for everything.

In future - all Apple products will come with an Apology App.This will apologize to every user about every thing - including the length of the security queues at JFK and the the TV show ‘Jersey Shore’.