Friday, July 30, 2010

Miscellaneous Tomfoolery

I find this almost incomprehensible - but hard on the heels of the 16 year old Australia girl who sailed around the world - a 14 year old Dutch girl is about to set out on her very own around the world voyage. 
What comes next? An 8 year old girl plans to sail around the world in a cast iron bathtub - blindfolded and encased in a block of chocolate. Emma said that she hoped to eat her arms free by the time she reached the Cape of Good Hope so that she could download the weather forecasts into her  iPhone. 
The Rolling Stones are contemplating a 50th Anniversary Tour. They will need to wear their woollies because at their age it is easy to catch a chill and just fade away. They should also have a Roadie designated to cut up their meat and mash their peas. Have these guys - in say the last 10 years - seen themselves close up? I am firmly of the belief that any rock musicians this old should be at home in front of the fire with their cats. 
The Kings of Leon fled a stage recently when they were defecated upon by a flock of Pigeons. 
"The band is very sad and upset about it," Kings publicist Ken Weinstein said Saturday. No band would play under those conditions." 
Rubbish. In my day bands would play through cyclones, hails of beer bottles, stage invasions by people with axes, showers of vomit from fans and the odd electrocution of guitarists wired up incorrectly.
Can you just imagine the Sex Pistols being  put off by a bit of Pigeon poo? It would not happen. Mind you they would probably not notice. 

It had to happen. In the first election debate in Australia Tony Abbott suggested that Julia Gillard had a lack of understanding about family issues because she is unmarried and has no children.
Unlike Tony’s boss the Pope who of course who feels well qualified to make decisions which affect the family lives of billions of Catholics. 
The Pentagon is hot on the heels of the dirty spying rat who leaked a whole bunch of embarrassing documents to Wikileaks and will leave no stone unturned in their quest to bring him to justice and a suitable punishment.  
In the process they have managed to avert their gaze from the complete phantasmagorical and catastrophic pile of smoldering dung that is Afghanistan where many nations are sacrificing their soldiers and their wealth so that any number of corrupt officials, warlords and politicians can grow rich and fat before scarpering to the south of France when the inevitable happens and the whole steaming pile of poo implodes and buries the country and everyone it it. 
Barry Hickey, Catholic Archbishop of Perth, declared that Julia Gillard’s Atheism could influence Christian voters not to vote Labor. 
Well - it might if they are nitwits like Barry. Where do they get people like Catholic Archbishops - are there no entry examinations at all?  
I rather think that most Christian voters will vote for the party and policies that appeal to them most. 
Just in case you think nothing ever happens in Austria - here the some stories from the Austrian Independent.
Boy locks himself in mailbox
Driver avoiding rabbit crashes into pond
Drunk injured in bridge fall fleeing from sister
Hunter spots struggling kite surfer
Mugger beaten up by 97 year old victim
Policemen catch python
This is just from one day. It all happens here. Fantastic!


  1. In our family there's good news and bad news. The good news is you'll probably live till you're well into your nineties; the bad news is...... you won't know about it.

    Wonder if that 97 year victim has tatts, piercings and other assorted paraphernalia; gleefully aging disgracefully which is exactly what we all should be doing: beating up grubs, ferals and Catholic Archbishops.

  2. Well Badger, you might comfort yourself with that fine collection of moulting mallards in your picture :-)
    I see we are doing rather well in the cricket (v. Pakaistan). I wonder how Morgan will find the Aussi bowlers!

  3. Sandy: There was no pic - but I think you have nailed his description.

    Maalie: I rather suspect that Morgan will make mincemeat of the Aussie bowlers and I predict a 3-0 victory to the Poms - followed by Pontings public hanging.

  4. I was trying to determine what the thread might be that tied everything in your post together. Was it poo? No. Politics or religion? Close, but not quite. Perhaps it is simply entertainment. Anyway, I'd like to be encased in a block of chocolate (dark, please).

  5. What makes me the angriest is that when this 14 year old dies or something (god forbid) the world will suddenly turn from "OH MY GOD!! AMAZING! EVERY CHILD SHOULD BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THE WORLD THIS WAY!!" to
    "Who in god's name thought THIS was a good idea??!!"

  6. @ Katie - the answer will be: atheists.

  7. Wanderlust: I promise to do this to you when you come to Vienna.

    Katie and Wanderlust: Exactly.

  8. Tony Abbott's catholicism makes me want to vote for Julia Gillard.

  9. If all non-Catholic Australians think like tenille-help-mum (and act on their thoughts!), Julia will win by a good margin!

  10. tenille-help-mum and Annie: We should be so lucky.