Tuesday, March 10, 2009

We will send the Smell Obergrupenfuhrer to see you soon’

I went to see Dr Ratzenblender today to get my blood test results and some more medication. He is closed for the day.

So I guess I will see him when I get back from Paris

About 6 months ago something crawled out of the Wienfluss into the ceiling in Cate’s office and died.

We have not seen it but we know it is there. How? Because it smells really, really bad. Not all the time – but often.

This is another problem about which there is absolutely no point telling the Building Managers. They would come and there would be no smell. They would go away and there would be a smell.

If they came and there was smell what would they do?

‘Yes that is a really bad smell – we will send the Smell Obergrupenfuhrer to see you soon’

The Smell Obergrupenfuhrer would come and there would be no smell – or there would be a smell – the result would be the same.

After extensive investigation they would not find the source of the smell – and would not be able to do anything.

It is likely that in a few years time they will find that Otto one floor down has been capturing tourists and residents, murdering them and boiling their heads in his copper kettle.

By that time we will have either left Vienna, or will have been murdered and boiled. Either way the smell will no longer bother us.

With the lack of air conditioning and the smell in the studies upstairs we now understand why when we visited the apartment the then tenant was working on his laptop PC at the dining table downstairs.

Actually, this sounds like a job for the Tenacious Rozalin!

Through a great deal of diligence and tenacity I have got my Facebook friends up to 25. (And where is Keegan by the way?).

I read today that the average number of friends on Facebook has just increased from 100 to 120. Excuse me?

That means I am almost 100 short of the average. Starve the Lizards – this whole thing is pointless. This is a game in which I cannot compete and I shall hang up my boots and just respond to the occasional poor sod who staggers into my Facebook site and decides that they need to be my friend.

These will be mainly NSW politicians on the run from angry lynch mobs.

I have made Cate some Gulaschsuppe, Hotpot and Spaghetti Bolognaise – a vat of each in fact so she won’t starve.

However I expect that while I am away she will live on biscuits. When I get back and ask why she did not eat the food she will say ‘I didn’t have time to warm it up in the microwave’ You Guffaw! But this has happened on many an occasion.

I checked on the ducks today. They are in fine form. Donald and Daisy are both sparkling and don’t care what it is as long as it is healthy (and of course a duck).

By the way you should check out this site. This lady is a fabulous photographer and her photographs make me cry (actually mine make me cry after I have looked at hers).

But – Henri is going to give me some lessons when I am in Paris.

This is Henri’s photography site

Tomorrow I will be Blogging from the Amelie Poulain room in the Hotel Prima Lepic in Rue Lepic, Montmartre.

The hotel is a few doors up from the café where they filmed Amelie – and is about 200 metres as the crow flies from Melissa’s apartment.

If I do not blog it may mean that Melissa and I have gone out for a knees up in some of Melissa’s favourite bars.


  1. Phillip, I am also on Facebook: Trina Caba
    Have fun in Paris!

  2. Have a great time in Paris. Forget more medication, just drink wine!

  3. I think this is the site Henri uses now: It might have a few more photos on it. A demain!

  4. I don't use Facebook, I hate those social networking sites.

  5. Ah Keegan - you're back. I thought you might have accidentally opened a textbook and become absorbed.