The Battered Bandit

Bandit (thinking). Jeez that was unexpected. I thought he was just sniffing my bottom but he was just sizing me up to eat me.

Well I am never going to let anyone sniff my bottom again – hmmm – that may be an overreaction – well they can sniff my bottom but I am going to watch them very closely – not sure how I will do that – perhaps I can put my head between my legs - will have to think about it.

Anyway if it had been a fair fight I would have given that bruiser what for and could have certainly badly mauled his right paw while he was eating me - as long as he ate my head last of course.

And what was that guy in the white coat doing sticking things up my bum – what is his problem.

Green and Pink - I cannot believe they have kitted me out in Green and Pink. Are these people colour blind or do they just lack all sense of light and colour.

And the smiley faces - oh sure that makes me feel a whole lot better.

Jeez I feel terrible – I am so crook I don’t think I will piss on the lounge tonight – well maybe I will feel better later – or just let go here – dad loves it when I piss on his leg -or vomit - I may vomit - where is the rug.

David’s tiny and one-eyed dog ‘Bandit’ has been badly mauled by a much larger and exceedingly more ferocious dog.

Mind you – given the size of Bandit – Muffin could give him a good thrashing without any trouble at all.

He has been at death’s door and we are hoping that he will pull through. To encourage Bandit through this difficult time I have put another picture of him on the Blog. I am waiting to hear from David and will let you know immediately there is any news.

We live such busy lives (well – one of us does) that we have had to buy a planner to hang on the wall in my study.

On this I am starting to put Cate’s trips (12 planned this years but there will be others as we go along and catastrophes occur in far flung places in Cate's empire), my trips and our visitors – who are mainly towards the end of the year.

If there is anyone out there who hasn’t booked their accommodation at Am Heumarkt you should get in early because we are filling up fast. Latecomers will have to sleep in the spare room next to the kitty litter.

When we were trudging together through the sewers of Paris, Melissa regaled me with stories about how much she was terrified of and hated rats. To help her overcome this problem I have sent her ‘The Story of Rats’ from Amazon. I hope this helps – but of course it may just send her over the edge and so she will require therapy.

When she has finished that I will lend her my duck book in case she wants to start a breeding program (unlikely but you never know).