Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The KAP is in full swing

This is Harvelina.

We are off to Prague on the weekend.

Normally Cate waits till we get to the weekend hotel before she complains bitterly about it but this week she is being proactive.

She looked at the hotel I had chosen on the website and said that it was entirely unsuitable as it was too big (21 rooms) and in the wrong location (the Centre of the old town).

So I have booked another hotel of Cate’s choosing. This one is the Romantik Hotel Uraka and I must say it looks alright.

I think the toilets are outside the main building but winter has almost gone so that should not be a problem – but we need to avoid walking through the stables because the owner says that Zlotzer and Fritzy are a bit ferocious and miss the Veldt.

I am not worried because Cate always knows what she is doing when travelling and I have complete faith.

This takes a great deal of pressure off me as I dread the drive to the hotel and then checking in and opening the door to the room and Cate saying “Hmm………..this is nice”

The translation of which is – “this is another steaming dump you have dragged me to where there will be moth eaten bathroom towels, sheets you can watch TV through, shampoo that gives me a rash, single-ply toilet paper, fleas in the bed, rats in the coat cupboards, food that would kill a brown dog and jack hammers outside our room all night”.

Which is most unfair. I mean sure we have had all those things but not necessarily at the same time and it is certainly not for want of trying on my part.

I really do look at the pictures on the website but – as I have said in a previous Blog – I am immensely gullible.

We have booked two restaurants – one of which has hosted Mick Jagger and Johnny Depp.

The guide book says that they are expensive – but we are using Meinl am Graben as a benchmark now so everything will be relatively cheap - unless I have got the Euro-Czech Woggle rate wrong – which is always a scary possibility.

Perhaps they are expensive for Prague but when you come from Wien almost everything is cheaper.

Cate has decided that the Kitten Acquisition Program (KAP) needs to be accelerated. She says I am becoming too inwardly focused and need more company.

She is worried about the amount of time I spend with Muffin and wants me to diversify. Well – sure we spend a lot of time together but I don’t think it’s unhealthy.

Anyway, since I have started reading the obituaries in the Financial Times to Muffin, Cate has started to worry so has pulled the KAP trigger and Rozalin has swung into action – sending messages to her vast network of kitten providers.

As we speak hundreds of kittens will be offered to us and we will read all the résumés carefully before making our choices. In fact, some pictures have just arrived!

In case you are wondering we are seeking two girl kittens who will be black, grey or dark tabby.

This is not negotiable.

I apologize to all you ginger, white and tortoiseshell cats out there but it just doesn’t work for us.

I will of course keep you informed.

Harvelina is a wooden Giraffe that Cate acquired in Zambia and brought home with her. Harvelina is about 1 metre tall. There was a full size one but it would not fit on the plane.

Harvelina cost (I know this is hard to believe) more than US$ 500 - plus €52 Customs Duty at this end. I mean for that sort of money you can have half a lobster at Meinl am Graben.

Harvelina now has pride of place in the lounge room and gazes over the vast expanse – pretending (except that she is wooden) that she is in the Serengeti and that Muffin is a big cat lying in the sun.

I am not sure at what Muffin thinks about anything at all so can’t comment on her perspective – but it is unlikely to be expansive and probably does not encompass the dark continent (although she loves National Geographic Channel).

My guess is that Muffin is a nihilist except in respect of food, sleep and pats – not necessarily in that order - and is unlikely to be swayed by the potential thoughts of a wooden Giraffe.

Harvelina is named after Jimmy Stewart’s imaginary rabbit friend in the film ‘Harvey’. But, as she is a girl (so Cate tells me) she becomes Harvelina. How she can tell she is a girl is beyond me but I am certainly not going to be the one to turn her upside down to check.

Harvelina was apparently named by the people who attended the event in Zambia – and it could well have been late at night when the naming ceremony took place.

Apparently the banknote Cate acquired is not worth quite as much as we thought it was so we are scaling back our retirement plans. This is good news for all you Blog readers out there.

And by the way – no one has ask for a Frog Farm prospectus. I blame the general cynicism caused by all the big banks that have fallen over – it has ruined things for entrepreneurs like me.

However - I was approached by someone who had read my Blog and asked if I would write a review of Vienna for a website. I did this and they are going to give me $100.

I am going to put this towards a cheese platter at Meinl and Graben and if we can save enough we will go there again before we leave Vienna in 2013.


  1. Oh good then you will have new kittens, the review job sounds interesting and I think you will do a spot on job! Have fun in Prague!

  2. Oh I really like Harvelina and how she appears to be photographed next to a rhinoceros so we can appreciate her size.

  3. Hey, good news about the review. Post us a link when it's published, won't you?

  4. did cate seriously wear the hat thats next to harvelina and if so can we have photographic proof.

  5. Lenny - She did wear the hat - and no did not bring back any photographic proof (for obvious reasons

  6. richardrj - yes I will send you the if it gets published.