Caution: Blasphemous Blog Follows

The truly wonderful Stephen Hawking came out yesterday and said that the afterlife is a fairy story – which of course it is.

The concept of all these invisible Gods hiding in the sky and promising us such wonderful riches when we pop our clogs is enormous fun - but is such a crock that in the 21st century it really is astonishing that anyone who has thought and read about it can still believe it. I guess it is a tribute to the vast religious machine that has banged out this crap since the beginning of civilization and continues to grind on in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are peddling bullshit.

I mean really – since the beginning of civilization we have invented how many Gods – probably at least 100,000? Because all Gods are of course our own inventions.

According to the Oxford World Christian Encyclopedia there are there are no fewer than 10,000 religions worldwide today and they flourish and disappear at an astonishing rate.

Lately – we have not been inventing quite so many religions because we have been understanding the world around us more - and people have not been quite so gullible – except perhaps for Mormons and Scientologists. And let me tell you – it takes a particular brand of lunacy to get involved with these whackos. And – spare me – a Mormon is a front runner for the Republican nomination for the US Presidency.

Does it ever strike Christians or God-followers of any description as strange that not one – not a single solitary God - has ever had the courage to show him or herself to his or her adoring flock anyplace – ever. Not a glimpse. Not a glance. Not a fleeting shadow. These Gods are so shy.

Oh sure - they will occasionally – every one hundred years or so send the Virgin Mary to show herself to some young children - who can then surprisingly convince millions of adults of what they have seen - but they can never be bothered to front up themselves. They just send the Virgin – or even worse – a weeping Virgin statue.

Anyway – I digress

What I love is when Stephen Hawking says anything at all because it brings the Christian loonies who read Fox out in their droves. I immediately pounce on Fox and devour the comments from the half wits - nay the quarter wits who inhabit these nether regions – that dark world where flesh eating trolls dwell – the comments sections of Fox stories.

Of course they have nothing but the bible. This is the only book that supports their beliefs. That ancient musty text. No one really know who wrote it. It was cobbled together many centuries ago by ancient scribes from who knows where - from myths and legends passed down through the centuries.

It has been altered a million times and re-translated and mis-translated and re-interpreted and everyone has their own view of what everything means and every Fox viewer knows that it is the true word of God and what every passage means - to them.

And to attempt to demolish the impeccable mind of Hawking these nitwits quote the Bible. Line by line. Verse by verse.

And I regret to say – they are preyed upon by rather more intelligent non-believers who goad them with rational arguments and send them into foaming frenzies and prompt them to respond with withering bursts of bible passages and – for some obscure reason – the Shroud of Turin – which is always trotted out as proof of God’s existence. Why not quote the Tooth Fairy?

The whole argument is – of course – pointless - but hilarious.

Two lovely older women came to my door a few months a go to talk to me about God’s word. I said how did they know it was God’s word? Because it was in the bible. But how did they know what was in the bible was God’s word. Because it said so in the bible. What could I say to that?

More importantly. I had thought that there were very few baby ducks in Stadtpark because I had only seen three - and had thought that the rats had more than their fair share of eggs this winter. But – Melissa and I were coming back from lunch today and we saw a mother duck with 16 babies. Brilliant. Now don't get picky. I know there are only 14 in the photo but there are still two lazy ones getting out of the water.

Maalie would have been so pleased with this.

Maalie is not in heaven or hell. Stephen Hawking is right. These do not exist. Maalie has just ceased to be - which is what happens to us all when we die.