As reported in the Daily Telegraph a few days ago a fabulous ‘sea monster’ was sighted at Lake Windermere in Cumbria.
“The photograph, which shows an object with three humps breaching the surface of the lake, is said to be the best evidence yet of what some claim is a monster lurking beneath the depths.
It was taken on a camera phone by Tom Pickles, 24, while kayaking on the lake as part of a team building exercise with his IT company last Friday”.
Mr. Pickles said he saw an animal the size of three cars speed past him on the lake and watched it for about 20 seconds.”
Let us leave aside for the moment the fact that it has four humps and that Tom Pickles must have the the shittiest camera phone in the known world – or took the picture through a gunny sack - and the slowest if he can get off only one shot in 20 seconds.
Let us also leave aside the fact that a number of correspondents to the Daily Telegraph have churlishly said that the picture is identical to another one taken in 1996.
Let us just say for the sake of argument that there is a fabulous sea monster.
Well – just to be sure I immediately sent my Cumbrian correspondent to lay this myth to rest. The Bird Man of Cumbria set sail in his Kayak and is scouring Windermere from end to end. He will report any trace of sea monsters - or indeed of rubber tires tied together in attempt to simulate a sea monster.
His report is here
One just has to admire George Clooney for his honesty. In an interview for Newsweek he said
"I didn't live my life the right way for politics, you know,"
"I f**ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that's the truth,"
I have sent him an email asking him – from a fairly lofty George Clooney perspective – how many chicks is too many – and were there any left over - just as a matter of academic interest of course.