Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Oh say can you see

Things are moving at a rapid pace here.

I have decided to go to Paris in March to see my daughter and two of my grandchildren. The others are in Australia and I shall go there soon.

We have also decided that we should go to Las Vegas for my birthday.

Naturally I booked Paris first and then booked Las Vegas for basically the same dates. 

This is an uncanny knack I have had for many years. I have brutally murdered a number of bookings over the years because I book flights to leave places before we get there - and stuff like that.

Nowadays I always pay extra so that I can cancel flights and hotels without any problems because I just know that when I make a booking I am going to have to change it.

When I am in the process of booking it all seems perfectly sensible and logical but days later when I check it…..well.

We have decided to go to Las Vegas because we think it is one of those places that just has to be seen. I think it will be execrable -  because we hate all the glitz and the glamor and the gambling but we will certainly have lots of fun. But there are some good restaurants. 

We are staying in the Venetian resort which has its own canal with gondolas and men in striped shirts who sing opera. Can’t wait for that. I may sing along. 

And incidentally in Indianapolis we also have a canal with gondolas where men in striped shirts sing opera. This is very weird but you get accustomed to it after a while and given that most people in the mid west have never traveled further than the next state -  for them it is probably quite exotic.

And we are going to see Cirque de Soleil. This was a bit doubtful at first but I spoke to the bank manager and she has given us a second mortgage. 

I am looking forward to Paris. I love Paris. I have been there a lot - maybe 50 times - and am always captivated by the city. It has changed a lot since I first started going there in the 70s and it never ceases to amaze me. 

It also gives me a chance to boot my once fluent French into life. I once worked for  French bank and spoke really good French. Nowadays I start speaking in French and people interrupt me and say - ‘Would you like to speak English’. 

For which the only appropriate response is ‘Fuck you - you cheese eating surrender monkey’ but of course I just fall in line.

But I am tough. I live in America where the president is a lunatic. I can cope with anything you throw at me.  

Cate and I spoke last year about the possibility of us staying in America when she retired. 


We need to get out of here as soon as possible and now all we talk about is how soon we can leave. 

This blithering orange idiot is going to do so much damage that it may take this country 50 years to recover from the devastation he has planned with his willing compatriots. 

In centuries to come they will talk about ‘Putin’s puppet’ and the destruction he wreaked upon the home of the brave and the land of the fucked. 

1 comment:

  1. When we gaze up into the sky and suddenly see an aircraft gliding through the atmosphere, we realize immediately that it’s some kind of a metallic vessel that’s probably full of such things as human minds, accompanied by bugs that happened to grab a ride. Maybe there’s even a stowaway crouched inside a corner of the airplane. There could even be such things as mice that are shivering to death, if not already dead. We know nothing whatsoever about the identity of those various creatures. Maybe some of them are Islamic monsters flying back from a terrorist assassination… or maybe they’re flying towards another such event. The aircraft makes no audible sound, and we wouldn’t even normally know it was up there above our heads, except that we happened to look up there by chance. We also happen to glimpse our moon. First of all, are we sure that it’s “our moon” and not simply a disc of reddish dust that happened to be drifting by? Can we see any evidence up there of such things as human minds, creatures of any kind whatsoever? Maybe a former astronaut left some bugs up there on the moon, which scraped off his boots. Do we know whether those bugs might have evolved into a colony? No, we don’t… and nobody’s going to go up there just to find out whether or not a layer of dog shit on the soles of John Glenn’s boots have indeed been transformed into a colony of future moon dogs. Maybe those trillions of apparently “empty” stars in the sky are full of such creatures as humans with minds, bugs, etc. We would never know. The cosmos is like Beyonce’s belly. We suspect that it contains some kind of magic, but we know nothing. And so we ramble on stupidly about things that we can talk about… such as whether or not Beyonce’s baby will be an asshole. In any case, there’s nothing outlandish in what I’ve just been saying. You simply need to have a mind that wastes its time thinking such foolish thoughts, which don’t harm anybody, not even the thinker. But it’s easier, of course, NOT to think such thoughts. That way, you’re a serious member of the Homo sapiens species. But thinking such thoughts won’t drive you crazy. At least I hope not. I’m a scientific philosopher. Incidentally, your friend Ernest has the right, if he reads me (which I hope he does), to say that William has forgotten to take his daily pills (which, of course, exist only in Ernest's imaginative mind).