It astonishes me how often I get behind someone in the checkout line at the supermarket who is apparently using the credit card machine for the first time.
This is after they have been standing there watching their groceries get bagged and finally the clerk tells them that they will have to pay. Like a startled gazelle they leap into action and then start ratting through their bags and purses to find their cards.
Of course some of them are high or whacko so we have to make allowances.
And I won’t even talk about the people who pay with checks. Give me a break.
Not that I normally mind - but I usually have a dog waiting in the car. Now this is OK for the dog because the back windows are halfway open and the dog has a bowl of water. And I never take the dog on a really hot day - and never leave her alone for more than 10 minutes.
But - being the vigilante nation that we live in - it will only take some nutter to see the dog in the car and he or she will call 911 - smash the car windows and assemble a mob to decry the brutal treatment of a dumb animal who will be sitting there wagging her tail and wondering WTF is going on.
I will arrive back at the car to be greeted by a shrieking mob which will include the fire department, the police, the ASPCA and the local militia armed with AK47s. This may entail a night in jail - or - if I am a bit unlucky - death by gunshot.
And speaking of vigilantes - I have been fascinated watching events since the hoo-ha began down south about transgender people and bathrooms.
Various idiot governors down there have decided to create a crazy solution for which there was no problem. This follows the massive nationwide epidemic of transgender people attacking and raping women in bathrooms.
Now women with short hair and wearing pants or shorts are being accosted in their own bathrooms at shopping centers and be dragged screaming into the malls by strange men who think it is now their role to police women's bathrooms to make sure that - well I am not sure what they are making sure of.
Oh DUH I thought you was a man!
The levels of dumbness in this country astound me. I can prove this with one word.
But at least here they do bag groceries. In Vienna they hurled the groceries to the bottom of the chute and your job was to bag them before you became completely inundated. This required high levels of skill - exceptional dexterity and nerves of steel.
Now if a bunch of celery snagged on the way into a bag and held you up for more than 5 seconds it was all over. You would be standing there with a mountain of groceries as the next person’s groceries started cascading down upon you.
In the early days - before I got really good at it - I messed u p a few times and had to be helped sobbing from the supermarket. But I became better and stronger.