Thursday, September 6, 2012

As water off a duck's back

The photo shows the passengers on the Good Shop Lollipop who have just been told by Captain Mart that because of their numerous transgressions they will not get breakfast tomorrow morning.

They will instead be stripped naked and birched before being sent on their way with their bike batteries having been removed.

Gwenyth was not sure on the night of her colossal prang whether or not she needed to see a doctor so she declined Captain Mart’s offer to call a taxi to take her to the local hospital in the nearest Belgian town.

However – the next morning she could hardly walk so decided that she did need medical intervention. This caused great consternation as we were once more the Netherlands and Captain Mart remonstrated with her for not following his earlier advice.

She was in so much pain – and had been reprimanded so many times already – that this was as water off a duck’s back.

An ambulance was called and she was examined by paramedics who suggested a trip to the local hospital. For this a taxi was required and was duly procured.

Gwenyth then discovered that the emergency rooms in Dutch hospitals are not like those in Australia – where the average waiting time – even for those who have lost limbs using chain saws  – is about 12 hours after which you will be seen by an intern who has already been on duty for 48 hours and can barely stay upright.

On presentation she was overwhelmed by doctors and nurses who whisked her into X-ray and tended to her numerous cuts, bruises and abrasions.

She had nothing broken and was discharged within the hour with prescriptions for pain killers. On the way back to the boat she bought a pair of crutches to help her hobble more effectively.

Captain Mart was probably concerned about the damage the crutches could do to his woodwork – which he polished daily - so we made sure that the rubber tips were in good shape. 

Gwenyth could not cycle so stayed on board while we went off to tour the countryside. It was then she discovered that hot breakfasts and espresso coffee were available – but only for Captain Mart and Miss Elly.

When the cyclists had left for the day they sat down to sumptuous repasts of bacon and eggs (not sure about the toast) and espresso coffee – and they were probably allowed more than one cup.

Gwenyth lay in her cabin – having feasted on bread and cheese and a filthy black warm mixture masquerading as coffee – and slavered quietly.

Next – what Captain Mart and Miss Elly do all day.

(Soon I may tell you about Ireland).


  1. So much for that maligned socialised medicine!

  2. I have never seen a sadder looking group of holiday merry makers.

  3. Judging from your posts and the reviews on the site you linked to, this Captain Mart needs to be put out of business. He's a pathological piss pot. It might make for a really funny comedy should write a screenplay. Just think of the fun you'd have casting it!

  4. Please tell me you are now traveling with a film crew for your new travel program?

  5. I can concur with you on this- My french doctors see me straight away and get on with the task of helping... here I have to wait days..

  6. Merisi: Tell that to the Republicans.

    fmcgmccllc: They were having a break from their usual riotous behavior.

    SK Waller: I am thinking Harvey Keitel for Captain Mart.

    smedette: Excellent idea!

    simon: It;s a long way to travel for an appointment though.