Tuesday, August 30, 2011

How many Red Carpet Lounges Can There Be?

For reasons known only to herself the young lady at the Senator check-in in Vienna (the special one reserved for Cate’s illustrious presence) decided to check her bag to Peoria and my bag to Washington. Fair enough. She probably thought it would add a frisson of excitement to the voyage – and it sure as shit did that!

We did not know this so when we got to Washington the man sent Cate on one bus and me on another bus – despite our vigorous protests that we were together.

We thought he was insane – but in fact he knew exactly what he was doing – sending us to different terminals where our bags were.

After a while we established telephone contact and Cate said she had just encountered the rudest person she had ever met in her life.

I said that was rubbish – she says that every time she flies United. She brings out the worst in United staff.

Anyway she was having trouble with the very large Rimowa suitcase. For some reason she had my suitcase.

She always insists on taking the absolute smallest possible suitcase when we travel together. Of course she cannot possibly fit her clothes into hers so she has to put most of her clothes into mine -  so the one  I have to take has to be gigantic.

This was the case today – and today on the way down to the car I regret to say that I fucked my ribs again – when will they ever heal.

So eventually we decided that we would meet in the Red Carpet Lounge and we had this comedy routine:

‘Where are you?’

‘I am in the Red Carpet Lounge.’

‘So am I. I cannot see you.’

Until we discovered there were three Red Carpet Lounges.

It was one of those goat things  - but we are here now and I am writing this at 11:00 PM which is 5:00 AM Vienna time. 


  1. So you're in the States. Welcome! Try not to piss off the insane Right.

  2. I am starting to think those bags are cursed.

  3. I too, bring out the worst in United Airlines staff. I feel for your wife. The last time I travelled with them, it was for a family Christmas trip. They managed to lose my luggage on a direct flight. The lost luggage telephone staff were completely unhelpful. I even had one chew me out for "being stupid enough to travel over Christmas and forcing them to work while sick." They finally located my bag the day before we had to get back on a plane and head home. And that was a good trip experience for me with them.

  4. he he - just wait until they start demanding drink "coupons" in the lounge. hang in there. also please note that dulles now has a train between terminals that was installed to make things easier than the people mover, but takes longer anyway. And also, if you're arriving internationally, you still have to take the people mover. The train is one of our more brilliant projects.

    Welcome stateside, please let me know if you guys need anything here during your stay!

  5. esbboston: I was lucky to find her at all!

    SK Waller: And how do I tell which ones they are?

    fmcgmcclic: I am going to give them one more chance.

    SymbioticLife: It's the passengers they hate - without them their jobs would be so much better.

    TNDW: Thanks: We will shout if we need help

  6. I got the 34 by going to their web site and finding out how many they had at each location. There were at least 4 airports that had more than one, with Chicago having 4.

  7. Now that I went back and read your blog title, how many CAN there be question mark, I realized the answer to that question would be a complex number based on size of the average RCLounge divided into the surface area of the entire earth, but it would be limited by the amount of natural resources available to match the amenities of a typical RCLounge, (i.e. red dye for the carpet, steel, glass, wood, ...). But then I also realized they could also be stacked on top of each other, so the troposphere is the vertical limit. I should go find an A/C to fix.

  8. esbboston: And when you get inside you realize that they re just not worth visiting.