Monday, December 6, 2010

Has anyone seen Lenny?

Australia is well on the way to a colossal flogging in Adelaide but may be saved by the rain. This would be most unjust for England who have comprehensively outplayed them in every department – but who cares about fairness and justice in sport. The only thing that matters is not to be beaten. Ask the Russian Football Federation.

Now I am going to have to offend some people today but it cannot be helped. Sometimes the madness and stupidity of humanity in general – and religious loonies –in particular – drive me a bit potty and I have to shout. 

In Pakistan a Christian woman named Asi Bibi has been sentenced to death for blasphemy. She was arrested after having an altercation with some women who refused to drink water because she had touched it, or gotten near to it – or something. She may have said something unkind about the particular deity that they worship.

Now there are many, many stupid things in the world but the concept of blasphemy is so ludicrous that it makes me nauseous. 

‘I have this imaginary friend who lives in the sky. He is everywhere but he is invisible. He is so powerful that he can do anything at all. No one has ever seen him but we know he is there because we pray to him and he performs miracles. If you insult him I will kill you.’

‘Hmm…I see. Well I have a different imaginary friend who is also powerful and invisible and performs miracles - and I do not want you to insult him but if you do I will not kill you - I will pray for you.’

‘No your God is the wrong God. Mine is the only true God and I you do not believe that then I will kill you.’

‘That seems a bit harsh. Does your God not show any mercy?'

'Yes – but not to people who do not believe in him.’


I am almost ready for the Dinner Party. I have finished the plumbing work and now just need to polish the Satellite Dish on the roof and blacken the car tires. Tomorrow it will be just a matter of taking the curlers out of the cats' fur and tidying my sock drawer. Oh - and cooking. 

Has anyone seen Lenny? He will not be my friend on Facebook and does not comment on my Blog anymore. I miss his little wet slobbery smoochy face. It seems so long ago that he first pissed on my legs.


  1. Good luck with the dinner party. I'm having one too, but it's just for my son and he won't notice (or care) if my toaster isn't sparkling.

  2. Good to know religious nuts are found everywhere. And not just in my neighborhood.

  3. It is a tad on the harsh side, but rules is rules and I do believe she may have also coveted my Ox so...

  4. You starched and ironed the ... er ... socks? ;-)

  5. Hope you had plenty of time to enjoy the fruits of your labour :-)

  6. I think Stephen Roberts said it well - "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen Roberts, database architect (b. 1967)

    And thanks for the prompt - PK polished the toaster, not a minute before time. God works in mysterious ways.

  7. Maalie: A sensible man.

    Jessica: But - we have almost none here.

    Glen: Oh No - not the Ox - off with her head!

    Merisi: No starch

    Annie: Hmm....I will be fine until, the oven explodes

    Gwenyth: Jesus on a Stick! Gwenyth has worked out how to comment!

  8. Saw this and thought of you.

    Then I saw this and it made me think of you, too.

  9. Freefalling: Thanks for that - both Brilliant!