Wednesday, April 28, 2010

He was just not stupid enough!

There is a weird system in Austria that if you declare your religion (on one of the numerous forms you have to fill out to live here) - then the authorities deduct money from your salary and give it to that church.

I guess this serves to ensure that only those with some commitment will actually make the declaration and pay the money to the church. Beats the hell out of having to wreak havoc in the community with just what you can get by passing the plate around on Sunday.

The Austrian Independent yesterday that:

“More Austrians than ever in history are expected to leave the Catholic Church this year.

Official figures show that 30,004 people left the Church in the first three months of this year, up by 42 per cent compared to the same time span of 2009 when more people than ever cancelled their membership.

These developments mean that between 70,000 and 80,000 Austrians are expected to leave the Church throughout this year after last year’s record of 53,216 people leaving the Church.”

There are of course some obvious reasons for this exodus - but we also have our own Resident Catholic Church Nutter (RCCN) in Austria. I think every country has at least one.

Ours is called Gerhard Maria Wagner and he resides in Windischgarsten in Upper Austria. As reported in the Austrian Independent:

“Wagner branded the bestselling Harry Potter books by Joanne K. Rowling a "work of Satan" and called homosexuality a "curable disease". He also claimed that natural disasters such as tsunamis and hurricanes were God’s punishment of human sin. Wagner hit the headlines this year when he claimed that January’s Haiti earthquake was God’s penalty since "nine in ten people living there believe in voodoo".

Of course being a RCCN is no barrier to high office in the Catholic Church and Father Wagner was nominated by Pope Benedict XVI to become auxiliary bishop of Linz diocese, but eventually announced he had decided to stay at his local parish.

So it is nice to see Austrians voting with their feet in response to the immense dishonesty and corruption in this tragically irrelevant but destructive institution. But not all Austrians are so sensible – as reported yesterday.

"An Upper Austrian farmer died after his hair dryer plunged into the bathtub while he was taking a bath last night (Mon). The Rutzenham resident’s girlfriend told police the man used to put the hair dryer on the windowsill and turn it on to heat up the bathroom. An emergency doctor who arrived at the house within minutes tried in vain to resuscitate the 35-year-old man. Police said they ruled out suicide and assumed it was a tragic accident. Investigations focus on why the old farm’s fuse switch failed to work."

I submitted this story to the Darwin Awards but it was rejected. The man was simply not stupid enough and his sad tale is eclipsed daily by such monumental acts of horrendous stupidity that it almost leaves you breathless.


  1. On the tax return, I hope you put k.A. for religion (keine Angabe / not specified). That way you won't get bothered by established religion.

    And sadly, Wagner is far from the only RCCN in Austria. There are a distressing number of others who rival him in the bigotry stakes when they're not too busy doing I don't know what - buggering the Vienna Boys' Choir or drink-driving (Toni Faber...).

  2. I can't believe they have enforced taxation for religion in Austria! That is so bizarre. I think you should not be allowed to rag on the US for at least a week because we would never do that here (even though we produce more than our share of RCCNs).

  3. The great whore of Babylon is dying a slow death and she's not going quietly. She's spiteful and abusive, and although she's taking as many down with her as she can, she's dying by her own hand.

    Good riddance.

  4. I can't believe the Darwin Awards rejected that story.

  5. Who does the money get sent to if you declare yourself a Pagan?

  6. How about Pastafarian? Is that recognized?