Watch out for the Crocoduck

Still no snow but it is on the way. It is in fact due tomorrow.

Last night I lit the fire for the first time and was greeted with a chorus of indifference by all of the cats.

Monika and Sissi had a close look and a sniff and moved on. Muffin sat in front of it for a few minutes – and also moved on. A very disappointing outcome.

Clearly it is not cold enough so we will just have to wait a bit. If all else fails I will don my winter woollies and put them on the balcony for an hour to soften them up.

I am girding my loins for what I fear will be the first of many deaths on the snow on the weekend. I don’t know when the official skiing season starts – but as there is snow out there I imagine thousands of Austrians will be doing their level best to merge with infinity.

I can almost hear the thuds and screams.

I shall report – in broad terms – but will not give too many details because it all becomes too morbid.

I am so sick of the way the Austrians shuffle off the mortal coil I am not even going to give you details this week of even the more bizarre ones. There will be no mention of the drunk fireman, the wood-chopping pensioner, the reckless farmer or the curious tourist.

I hear from Cate briefly each day as she lurches out of bed in Peoria and prepares for a new day doing her course. Apart from the permanent state of exhaustion she is apparently enjoying herself.

The course is for people who are So Damned Important that they get to present to Le Grande Fromage in person. Very scary indeed.

She is not of course in Peoria but I can’t tell where she really is – it’s a secret location in what was formerly a red state but turned blue at the last election.

If they know Cate is there they will capture her and turn her into a (shudder!) Creationist.

Speaking of gold-plated blithering idiots. If you haven’t heard of the Crocoduck you should watch this. The Crocoduck arrives in about 2 minutes.

Crocoduck