We need more Austrian taxpayers!

Jura is back. It sounds terrible but makes nice coffee. I hoped that they would fix the grinder which sounds like it is mincing owls and marbles simultaneously but I will just have to carry on until it clags out again. See how hopeful I am.

(“Clagged out” is an Australian expression meaning Kaputt! It probably derives from an Australian brand of glue that was used in schools.

This came in a glass pot with a brush and was designed to spread glue over the entire classroom and all students therein.

It could be removed only with a cold chisel and sulphuric acid and if you put it inside a school book the book was then useful only as a door stop as the pages could never be opened again.

The RAAF used it to seal the fuel tanks of the F III when they problems with leaks during the Vietnam War).

The Funkenschutz has arrived and is – as I had planned – nondescript. Cate has seen it and has not reacted badly – but then it’s not winter and she is not sitting in front of the fire. We shall see. Still, I did offer her a glass one from Sweden and she turned he nose up at it.

It has warmed up again and – as I changed the Doona on the bed – we are of course sweltering. However, it is not wise to throw the Doona off at night and expose bare flesh as this is likely to be seized upon by a small but perfectly formed cat with needle-sharp claws.

It is about time we changed to the European style Doonas (or whatever they are called). I don’t think you have sheets with these. What do you put on the mattress I wonder? What are the Doona thingies called?

We are almost ready to go back to Indochine 21. Our pictures are no longer in the window below the ‘Vorsicht!’ signs and I am sure the staff will have forgotten about us – unless they are still in therapy – and I would not like to be responsible for a relapse. Hmm…..perhaps we should wait a while longer. We may give it another nudge when Gwenyth come back for our St Petersburg sojourn.

Liz and Darryl have landed in Europe and are beetling about in Italy. We are meeting them on Friday week in Salzburg then driving to Schladming, Prague and Cracow. This will be a sort of rolling knees up.

Billy suffered another minor scrape (yes it was me!). This was inevitable as the car hoist is so narrow that sooner or later I had to scrape the mirror. As it turns out it was later and is not too bad. Cate is feeling very superior.

There is a tribute concert to Michael Jackson in Wien on 26 September. It will feature some world renowned stars (?) such as Akon, Mary J Blige, Natalie Cole, Chris Brown and US 5.

There seems to be a lack of star power and commitment here. Where – for example – are Leo Sayer and Cliff Richard. And what about Austria’s official Falco impersonator!

At €518 for a Gold Ticket I think I will pass. For that sort of money you can stand on a milk carton behind the back row in the Staatsoper and see a Trumpet player and the top half of a Violinist.

So many people have been killed or badly injured in Austria this week I am surprised that the streets are not deserted. This is a serious problem. Government action is required.Some samples:

A 62-year-old cyclist was killed when he rode into a hole in the road and was sent hurtling over his handlebars. (What no helmet?)

A 54-year-old Upper Austrian DIY fan is in hospital with severe burns after he forgot to close the fuel cap on a petrol-powered chainsaw he was using at his home in Bad Ischl in Gmunden. (Forgot to close the fuel cap?)

A shopper was hospitalised after he was hit on the head by a falling piece of roofing at an IKEA store yesterday. (They revived him with an Allen Key).

A 58-year-old man drowned as he fell while walking his dog next to a reservoir in Styria’s Voitsberg district. (The dog usually saves its owner – this dog needs training).

A 46-year-old DIY fan was left with serious burns when he blew up a workshop as he ground a rod. (Apparently anyone using a power tool is a DIY fan).

There were numerous other deaths – some too bizarre to mention. This is a very small country. What is going on here? Why can’t these people just smoke themselves do death like their fellow countrymen. This way they will live until they retire and pay taxes all their lives.

I need to maintain my quality of life and I cannot do this without Austrian taxpayers.