Monday, December 12, 2016

I blame Obama

Its not my fault that I don't blog nearly enough. I have a punishing schedule and - while I have four assistants - they are all useless. The cats sleep all day and the dogs seem to spend the entire day rolling around and biting each others ears. 

It has taken us a while but Cate and I realized on the weekend that we are involved in an elaborate reality TV show where reality is a matter of perception. We realized that what we are witnessing here cannot be real. No president-elect would be behave like this unless he was pulling our chain. In fact - no sane person could act like the president-elect is acting now. 

So we are much more relaxed now and cannot wait for season 2. Although the shark was jumped on many occasions in season 1 - so we will be interested to see what happens.  

I have found that having two dogs is not like have one dog twice. It is much more difficult and as Indiana is a puppy she is a lot more trouble than Georgia. And it is now very cold so I cannot shove them out the back door and let them run wild. I can only leave them for a short while and then bring them back inside. Most of the time they are in the house they spend chasing each other and biting each others ears, crashing into furniture and creating mayhem. 

Of course to go outside they both have coats which I can put on them. These are expensive weatherproof coats which will theoretically keep them nice and warm. Putting them on requires hand to paw combat. When they get them on and go outside they become fixated on tearing them off each other and playing tug-o-war with what are becoming the tattered remains. They may be weatherproof but they are not dog proof. 

Grizelda came and gave us and the dogs our first lesson. Neither we nor the dogs were any good at all at what we were supposed to do. Indiana is absolutely hopeless and cannot master even the basic things that a dog should be able to do. She is extraordinarily stubborn and is really only good at one thing at that is tearing Georgia’s collar off.

John and Mike and Antonio have finished the work on the house and we have high hopes that it will make it through winter before disintegrating completely. They have put a door on Cate’s study to turn in into a bedroom with an ensuite. So we now have five bedrooms with ensuites and seven bathrooms. Yes I know it seems a bit excessive but we really liked the house.

Cate needed a door on her study because Georgia barks frantically every time the doorbell rings - or the proximity whizzer on the door bell indicates someone or something has approached the door. 

This proximity whizzer is affected by large trucks or buses passing the house - so there is a lot of lunacy in dog land many times each day. And no I cannot change the sensitivity of the motion detector because it is already on its lowest level.

Yes I can tear it off the wall and throw it away. This may happen soon. 

Cate also had John install some mantelpieces above our fireplaces. This is a lot harder than it sounds as first we had to find some reclaimed lumber that was just what we needed - and then take out a bank loan to buy it. We have found that old timber planks from ancient barns are more expensive than gold. 

Then much drilling and messing about was required by Mike and John. 

So now Cate has lots of space for the Christmas decorations which include owls, hedgehogs and polar bears we bought in Vienna.

Today I suddenly realized that Gwenyth and PK arrive next week so I have embarked on a major linen washing and cleaning campaign. Tomorrow I will get stuck into the general cleaning. The toaster will wait until the day before they arrive. 

And then I have to start worrying about Christmas dinner. This is theoretically not my department as I usually have Christmas day off. But I am responsible for the planning and the shopping.

There will also be the last minute shopping when Cate decides to cook minced larks tongues with bat paw foam and shredded musk rat embryos - garnished with a frisson of lightly toasted goat droppings. None of these things will be available in Indiana so I will have to scour the countryside for the ingredients.

So at Christmas we are going to Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. We always go somewhere cold at Christmas - except last year when we went to Mexico. Too damn hot for our liking.

We expect to be very cold so I have resurrected my considerable amount of winter gear and am organizing this for the icy cold conditions which await us. I tried on my padded winter pants tonite and alas they have shrunk. This is an increasing phenomenon in this house.

I blame Obama. 


  1. You house must be wonderful, actually, and the improvements sound great. If I could, I'd have a large house--I just love the space it would provide. Cottages are cozy, but when I'm stuck inside due to weather, cozy can turn into cramped very quickly. And with two large dogs you need a large house! Hope you two get through the holidays joyously and enjoy your travels. You deserve a good getaway!