Who are you all?

Now up until I was given an undeserved and untimely award of ‘Blog of Note’ last April I had about – I think – 70 followers.

This ‘award’ is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me because I now have a full spam box every day of my life.

But it is bad spam. Spam I cannot read. Spam in foreign languages. I can recognise some as being in Thai and some is in Chinese (I am not sure which dialect) but what it says is of course beyond me.

But it comes in avalanches. Some have pictures and I can see that they are trying to get me to come to hotels and restaurants in far flung lands. Someone in a town in Thailand wants me to use his car park – for fuck's sake. I should fly my car there?

There are others without pictures and I assume like most of the others in English that they are trying to make me rich – or bigger my dick. Actually some of them are now using English translators and they say you can grow your dick six inches in six weeks. (It actually said gwow but I know what they meant)

(Now I would like you to stop briefly – look into the distance and see if you can think of anyone you know who would send money to anywhere to buy pills to increase the size of his penis by six inches? Neither can I. But people do it so there must be a market - as evidenced by the amount of mail in my spam box.)

And after this award there was a brief increase in my numbers of followers. This was a real increase of people who found my blog interesting or amusing - or something and signed on and this brought the number up to - I think - about 130. Most of these have since moved on – as people do. Times change.  

Now I have attached the statistics showing the number of visitors and page views which is probably consistent with what one would expect. My average visitors each day are now about 80 – sometimes a few more – sometimes a few less. You can see all this by clicking on the thingy on my blog. 

What is scary is that my followers creep inexorably ever upwards – for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes I collect three in a week. Often I am the first blog they have ever followed. Often they created their blog within the last few days.

Scarier even still is that the followers – almost without exception – have no reason to follow me. I invite you to look at my most recent follower thenextdarklord. We do not seem to have a lot on common. But then……

My question to you is – What the fuck is going on? There is clearly something that I do not understand here. Is there a game being played where you collect points for following blogs. Are there more points for following Viennese?

Perhaps – as has been hinted by many – including my kindergarten teacher – I am indeed the Antichrist – and the Rapture is at hand.

There is something sincerely scary going on here and I wish to put an end to it. Please help.

As the thenextdarklord says:

Well, then. I am Marielle (I cannot emphasise this enough), and I am a worthless human being. People don't like me, and I have an outstanding ability to not give a damn. Eminem and Morgan Freeman are my spirit animals. THIS is my other blog. And yes, I am the next dark lord. I also think I could be Hannah Montana. Life isn't fair. We part ways now...

Holy shit.