Monday, February 8, 2010

A single leg Boston Crab with arm lock will win it.

Well the Colts didn’t win. Peyton Manning did throw a winning touchdown pass – but it was to the other side which didn’t help much at all. I didn’t see the second half because the game did not start until midnight Vienna time so by about 2:00 Am and had to call it quits because I had a monster day planned for Monday.

It’s their own fault. Indiana turned blue for the first time (ever?) at the last election and will turn red again at the next one.

This is god’s retribution in advance – although he way things have been going lately I am starting to think that god may be a Republican.

Matthew clarified something that has been nagging at me for some time. He said “We buy something called Omo. It gets the clothes clean but, deep down, I don't trust it”.

Well that’s it in a nutshell for me – I just don’t trust soap powder. I don’t know what is in it and whatever it is – it is just way too expensive to be real. I mean this stuff is twice as expensive as porridge. I reckon they can charge those prices because Hans’ mother just can’t stand the thought that he won’t go to school shining like a new button.

In Australia we could buy something that was supposed to be environmentally friendly. They said it was on the packet anyway – but I am immensely gullible and it could have been highly toxic and a killer of possum and platypus – but I did look at the website and they convinced me enough that I continued to buy it.

But – it was only about one quarter the price of Omo or Persil or anything else. Which confirmed my view that when we buy washing powder we are being ripped off something dreadful. Like mouthwash – have you seen the price of that stuff? – in Russia it is cheaper to buy Vodka. And just don’t get me started on the prices of toothbrushes.

Which reminds me – I forgot to tell you about the TV show here – late at night – which has two naked women wrestling in baked beans. I have no idea why they do this but one woman is quite large and the other one is as thin as a rake.

Theoretically the larger one could win easily by sitting on the smaller one but people are apparently very difficult to grasp when they are covered in baked beans. (I have been unable to convince Cate to let me test this theory).

And the small one of course can’t get a grip on the larger on (even thought there is a fair amount available for gripping) because she can’t get a proper footing in the baked beans.

I have never watched a match to the end so I just don’t know who really has the advantage – indeed it might be like professional wrestling and not be real – but the baked beans seem real enough. I bet they have to spend a long time under the shower to de-bean themselves.

My money would be on the thin one as I reckon the plump one would run out of puff sooner or later, collapse into the baked beans and be a sitting duck for a single leg Boston Crab with arm lock.

I found this cute little gadget from Microsoft. For many moons now I have had an error message every time I open or close Excel. I have tried many times to deal with it but to no avail. There are ‘fixes’ on the Internet and also on the MS database but I just couldn’t get the sequence right.

Last night I thought I would have one last try and went into the Microsoft site. They have the usual information about how to fix the problem but also have a little ‘Fix It’ button. You click on this and it downloads the software patch, changes all the appropriate settings and makes it work, Fabulous!

I am going to take two pins out of the Bill Gates doll I keep in the freezer and hope he feels the better for it.


  1. Actually, God is Australian and is following me on Twitter.

  2. It may not be real. Everybody knows that nobody submits to a single leg boston crab. If it were real, they'd be locking in stepover toehold facelocks.

    Mind you, I'd probably overlook that minor detail in favour of beany cleavage.

    Your call though.

  3. Please share the name of the TV channel that shows naked women wrestling in baked beans. I have had it up to here with real time footage of the route of the No.38 tram and I need something more exciting for my late night viewing.

  4. And as for Microsoft's crappy products – cute gadgets are all very well, but wouldn't it be nice to have something that worked without having to perform such shenanigans? I just read that the latest Windows update has "fixed" 25 security vulnerabilities, five of which are rated as critical and one of which has been there since 3.1. You know where I'm heading with this, Badger. Get a Mac. You won't regret it.

  5. Channel DSF - but you have to wait until the wee hours.