Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Can we find 1,000,000 nitwits - You Betcha!

I think Kristin would like me to say something nice about the USA. Here it is – they have nice linen. Some of the best sheets and towels I have ever seen come from the USA. And great shops – I love shopping in New York. And steaks – fabulous! And no smoking – love it! They also have a political system that is so much fun to watch that it makes my ears water. I love America and (almost) all who sail in her.

Now that is out of the way my attention has been drawn to a Facebook site that is looking to sign up 1,000,000 people who don’t believe in evolution. Can they do this? You Betcha!

You Betcha!

Any country that boasts millions of people who have been kidnapped by aliens and genitally probed can certainly rustle up 1,000,000 people who don’t believe in a proven scientific fact.

This is too easy. They should try something harder. But in America it’s hard to come up with something whacky enough. The figures on the percentages of people who believe stuff are roughly as follows:

70% God is real
51% God created the heavens and the earth
88% Heaven is real (wow!)
71% Hell is real
12% President Obama is a Muslim
4% President Obama was not born in the USA
2% Aliens kidnapped me and examined my genitals
5% The new health care legislation provides for Death Panels
3% Americans did not land on the moon
2% The earth will end with the Rapture in 2012
0.1% President Obama killed and ate Jimmy Hoffa

Now - even 1% represents more than one million reasonably sentient beings – although not all of these will be able to use a computer (or even write) so you might be struggling with the rapture and aliens. But you would romp home with any other category. OK - so not Jimmy Hoffa - unless it was plugged on Fox - that would get us home!

I received a letter from my financial adviser in Sydney. He is retiring. Obviously he didn’t use the services of his own company for his retirement funds otherwise he would be working for another 200 years.

He has also changed the logo his company uses. Instead of a Phoenix rising from the ashes it is now a Buzzard perched on the carcass of his clients’ investments.

To celebrate my financial advisers retirement - and of course Cate’s special birthday - we are going to Copenhagen for a long weekend on 25 February.

The Square

The hotel says its ‘unique breakfast restaurant noted for its crafty use of daylight’. I think this means they have windows – and so they should – they say it is Copenhagen’s most exclusive design hotel – and who has heard of a design hotel without windows – but I will check and let you know.

Have you ever heard of a hotel without windows? Well - I stayed in one in London in the early 1980s. I was in what may have been the basement but could have been the elevator motor room. It was very noisy and oily. I was next to the kitchen. Whenever they turned on the dishwasher hordes of cockroaches stampeded across my floor. After that I made my own bookings and only stayed at the Savoy.

We have booked the tickets and the hotel. I got a special deal on the hotel but to do this I had to pay in advance and it cannot be cancelled. I have checked many times and yes it is in Copenhagen in Denmark – not Copenhagen anywhere else. I have learned my lesson and now book with the aid of Google Maps.

I now await with interest to see the nature of the catastrophe that will prevent us from taking the trip. I am betting on a lion eating a member of Cate’s staff while they are in the middle of negotiating the most crucial contract of the year. She will have to take over, retrieve the contract from the mouth of the lion - and complete the deal.

How could a lion possibly eat a member of Cate’s staff? – you will be amazed.


  1. Look on the bright side Badger, Richard Dawkins has sold three million copies of The God Delusion in the USA. The tide will change.

    Oh, nice silhouette shot of a Hooded Crow. No ducks available?

  2. I'm still trying to figure out where the Aussie slang is in this post.

  3. Plenty of ducks Maalie - but I like to provide you with some variety.

    Whoops - sorry viennesewaltz - I forgot my Aussie slang today. Double dose tomorrow!

  4. Thanks for the compliments on our linens. I am placated (for now). But be nice or I will friend you on Facebook and send you invitations to join all sorts of inane groups.

    I'm curious how it is that more people believe in hell than in god. I thought we were more optomistic (charmingly vacuous) than that. Oh well.

    We have some of the healthiest lungs in the world. Be jealous.

  5. What a beautiful silhouette you captured, with that cloud in the sky just in all the right places the better to highlight the ubiquitous Viennese craw! I have many pictures of similar scenes (right in front of my home there's a tall old tree with its own resident craw), but none half as good as yours. Maybe I better stick to cakes! ;-)

    I hope the lion sleeps tonight!

  6. In your blog and comments, there's an amusing and rich mixture of abundant sources of inspiration. Everyday life and loves in Vienna. Romantic Austrian beauty. Travels. Aussie slang. American landscape. Atheism. Etc...

    I feel, Badger, that the people are crying out for a keynote state-of-the-union address from you, to tell us finally and formally, in a digital nutshell, who exactly you are.

    If you happen to succeed, please let me know...