Monday, November 30, 2009

Home Wanted for Morris Dancing Cat

It will be nice to get away for a while so that we can actually get some sleep. This has become a rare commodity for some time now as Muffin is becoming increasingly deranged and Sissi has a toe fetish.

Cate works late almost every night so we don’t usually get to bed before midnight. This is the time Muffin decides to explore the bed and bedroom before settling down on the bed to suck her toes for an hour or so.

In the interim Sissi is pouncing on everything that moves so we have to make sure that our extremities are well and truly covered.

After licking herself from head to toe Muffin will then try to burrow into the bed. If she can do this (and I fight hard against it) she will inevitably settle down uncomfortably close to some delicate parts of my anatomy and I will lie awake hoping she doesn’t have a bad dream and lash out at an imaginary boo bah badbilly.

Muffin may then return to her perch behind the bed before early morning Morris Dancing on the bed. For amusement she will sometimes find a sock and carry it around the bedroom yowling pitifully.

At 4:00 AM Sissi’s eyes pop open and she starts to play – and with any sort of luck she will find a stray toe that has inadvertently found its way from under the bed clothes. There will be a shriek, gushes of blood - and a hurried retreat of all moving parts under the Doona again.

Muffin will decide that it’s time to explore the house to see what’s happening (nothing) and will need to be let out of the bedroom and which time I will take the opportunity to evict the Toe Slasher.

I will get to sleep again and them Muffin will want to come back into the bedroom and will yowl and bang on the door until this happens.

Then the alarm goes off.

The answers to your questions are:

We have to keep the bedroom closed because if Monika comes in there she does unspeakable things in Cate’s bathroom or – if the door is closed – on the floor or bed.

We can’t lock Muffin out (and we have tried) because if we do she yowls at the door like a Banshee and can be heard in Simmering – and then punishes us in the worst possible way. (I can’t say on this Blog what this is but if you send a stamped self-addressed envelope I will provide details).

Yes we have considered murdering the cats and burying them in the garden but would miss them terribly. (You need to be a cat person to understand this)

We bought some new fire implements – including some tongs – so that we can move logs around.

The picture is of the brush after Cate had swept up some loose bits of burning wood. We have had a training session and I have explained that metal does not burn but brushes do.

I am sure this will not happen again because she is a very quick learner. Although it doesn't really matter if it happens with this particular brush.

Incidentally the vet says that Sissi is very intelligent. I am not sure how this was determined by the vet but perhaps they have some basic tests with Cuisenaire rods they run cats through before surgery.

We bought a gigantic Christmas wreathy thing at the markets on Saturday. It is too big to fit anywhere so we have hung it from the ceiling. I will provide a picture if it survives Sissi during our trip to Turkey.

Two wannabe reality TV stars crashed a White House Dinner and want to sell their story for ‘hundreds of thousands of dollars’. Has it come to this that people would pay them money to tell how they walked into the White House and had their photo taken with the President. What a breathless, tense and dramatic story this would be.

‘Well we walked into the White House and the security people didn’t stop us so we had out photo taken with the President’

‘What’s he like?’

‘Oh really nice he said hi’

‘Oh Fabulous stuff – and what happened then?’

‘Well nothing really. We left.’

‘OK Great – look forward to the book. Who would you like to play your parts in the movie?'

'Hmm....not sure about that yet but probably Brad and Angelina.'


  1. Cool pictures, that first one!
    (The second one is good too, a bit burned at the edges, I'd say.)

    I accidentally deleted my Thanksgiving pictures today. Hit the "Empty Trash" button and at the very last, too late, moment I saw that my most recent file was there too, accidentally. I am in need of a guardian angel. Can you recommend anyone?

  2. Have a good time at Gallipoli. Tragic history. When I was the Secretary of the Ornithological Society of New Zealand I used to organise a day trip on ANZAC day to cross Cook Straight by inter-island ferry (and back), it was always well attended and gave us a superb range of seabirds.

    Also tragic, in a different way, the exploitation of our wildlife for superstition e.g. sharks fin soup.

    Do they have Morris Dancers in Austria? Or even Australia? I thought they were an archetypal English thing, thwacking each others' bottoms with a pig's bladder.

  3. O/T:
    Have you come across Ruşen Ergün's beautifully photographed blog, "All About Gallipoli"?

  4. Merisi - Tony Abbott - perfect Guardian Angel.

    Maalie. We have Morris Dancing in Australia - but the Austrians have their own bizarre dances - with leather.

    Merisi - Yes - beautiful Blog TVM.