Monday, January 7, 2013

Just imagine the possible scenarios

Each year for the last four years we have disposed of our Christmas tree by chopping it up and burning it. This is a very tedious process – takes quite a while – and is hot work.

However – this year Cate says we should just take it to the place where people take old Christmas trees - and so have someone else take it away.

That sounds like a good idea until you look at the logistics. The tree is about 3 metres tall and the lower branches are three metres across.

When we bought the tree it was wrapped up so we were able to get it through the streets, though our front door, up four flights of stairs and into the apartment – although it was a struggle.

In its current state it would not get out the front door and it would be almost impossible to get it down the stairs and then drag it three blocks to the dead Christmas tree pile.

Cate says we should throw it off our terrace into the courtyard - six floors below. You can just imagine the potentially catastrophic outcomes of this scenario.

Provided we could do this without killing ourselves or our neighbors  we would then have to drag it up two flights of stairs – out the back door and then three blocks – shedding pine needles (or whatever they are) on the way.

I have said that her plan will not work and that we will have to follow our usual practice of burning it. It was going to do this while she was in Saudi Arabia but she has said no to this.

I think she thinks I will set the apartment on fire – and indeed this is possible – I have tried before.

So the burning will take place next week – under Cate’s supervision. 


  1. Burn it where it stands! Now that would add a glow to the pagan festival!

    I have removed our xmas lights having enjoyed weeks of drinking mead, beer, wine and spirits as well as partaking of meats, mince pies and sweets...

    I am now into juicing my own vegetables in an attempt to get some digestive balance back into my life.
    As for our tree..well, its going back into the box in the cupboard

  2. Just a modest suggestion: do you happen to own a saw?
    could be helpful, I suppose.
    regards, reo

  3. If you have the tree in your house for 30 days, I would recommend destroying (trimming off) 3.33% every day beginning the veRy first day. I wiLL leave it to your imagination and creativity as to how to select the daily threepointthreethree. Just weigh the tree before hand and then you can get a good handle on how much to trim, and then burn every day in the fireplace. Now I have this picture in my head of a rough 2x2 standing in a bucket neXt January 5th....

    1. I told Tamie my s'ggestion, and she not knowing your luck with plants, suggested that you plant it outside in a pot.

  4. simon: And to the skyline of Vienna! Good luck with the juicing.

    reo: Yes. But if we cut it up it will just mean more trips. So I will cut it into small pieces to throw into the fire.

    esb: Do I have to trim 3.33% of the christmas lights as well?

    Tamie is a cruel woman.

    1. Lights? No, I would figure out how to stiffen the wire for the lights so that as the tree slowly disappears the luminous eXoskeleton remains. As for the ornaments, I would remove them as their arboral support becomes missing, so they disappear at roughly the same rate as the tree.

    2. Christmastree

    3. Cruel? No, just highly uninformed.

  5. Or you could be rather unimaginative (like us) and not have a tree at all - that way you don't have to worry about trying to dispose of it !!
    Have fun !