Just imagine the possible scenarios

Each year for the last four years we have disposed of our Christmas tree by chopping it up and burning it. This is a very tedious process – takes quite a while – and is hot work.

However – this year Cate says we should just take it to the place where people take old Christmas trees - and so have someone else take it away.

That sounds like a good idea until you look at the logistics. The tree is about 3 metres tall and the lower branches are three metres across.

When we bought the tree it was wrapped up so we were able to get it through the streets, though our front door, up four flights of stairs and into the apartment – although it was a struggle.

In its current state it would not get out the front door and it would be almost impossible to get it down the stairs and then drag it three blocks to the dead Christmas tree pile.

Cate says we should throw it off our terrace into the courtyard - six floors below. You can just imagine the potentially catastrophic outcomes of this scenario.

Provided we could do this without killing ourselves or our neighbors  we would then have to drag it up two flights of stairs – out the back door and then three blocks – shedding pine needles (or whatever they are) on the way.

I have said that her plan will not work and that we will have to follow our usual practice of burning it. It was going to do this while she was in Saudi Arabia but she has said no to this.

I think she thinks I will set the apartment on fire – and indeed this is possible – I have tried before.

So the burning will take place next week – under Cate’s supervision.