Thursday, December 9, 2010

I give it a 10/10 for badness

On our SKY Satellite TV there are about 200 Channels. They include some of the weirdest things I have ever seen – but prominent are  30 Music Channels. Of these, most are now showing what is billed as ‘Christmas Music’.

This is usually excruciatingly awful dross pumped out by singers and bands in an attempt to join retail land in extracting as much money as possible from a gullible and tone deaf public in the mad frenzy leading up to the frantic Christmas break.

This is always accompanied by mass hysteria and the frenzied buying of inappropriate presents, drunken family brawls and fist fights,  family dismemberments, crowded casualty wards, horrendous Facebook posts with embarrassing photos,  overeating and hangovers the size of which is exceeded only by the magnitude of credit card bills which arrive in January. 

This steaming pile of gruesome and execrable human behavior is apparently perpetrated to celebrate the birth of someone called Jesus who was born about 2,000 years - ago and died a bit later - to save us from our sins. Good luck with that one Jesus. How do you think it is going so far?  

In the interest of research I have done a brief study of the musical offerings. It was by no means an exhaustive analysis as this would have entailed listening to all the songs – and I would rather disembowel myself in the woods with a stick.

However. My view is that this song by Wizzard is clearly the worst – by a wide margin.

It is tuneless dirge performed by a bunch of really weird looking hippie people. The quality of the costumes matches that of the music.  There are the required number of small children not really playing instruments and trying not to cry after having to do this for some hours while the hippies smoked dope and drank scotch – or whatever it is that hippies do when they have to do gigs like this.
In short it has everything a really bad Christmas song should have. I give it a 10/10 for badness.

The best is this one by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. This one I give the highest rating possible of 0/10 for badness. I really wish Kirsty MacColl had not been killed by a speedboat because she was some talented lady. 


  1. i LOVE fairytale of new york! gotta agree on the bad xmas songs... although i kinda feel it wouldn't be xmas without them?!

  2. "I wish it could be Christmas every day". Oh Lord, please no, the Season of Bad Temper I have always called it. Things have improved lately as I can go fishing on Christmas morning.

  3. Fairy tale in New York is a classic - but then... I'm a sucker or a bit of Christmas Cheddar - I just wish it could be Christmas, every day eee aayy ooohhhh yeahhh

  4. You're being generous. I don't think 10 is a high enough score for the first one.

  5. If I don't believe in God, why do I have to make a big fuss of the celebration of his son's birth?

  6. Crosby & Bowie. Best Xmas song ever.

  7. Yup. Wizzard and 'I wish etc...'

    Blows the Dross-O-Meter off the wall.

  8. Can it be bad if they make money with it? ;-)

  9. Wow - never heard of the Wizzard's song. That's terrible. The Pogues is a great song. So is "Father Christmas" by the Kinks.

    And here's a classic holiday song from NJ :)