Sunday, December 5, 2010

Have you polished the Toaster?

The low temperature in Wien in Sunday was -12. That is pretty cold. It was in fact so cold on Sunday that Sissi was most reluctant to venture outside.

The air conditioners in the apartment are doing what they usually do in extreme temperatures – they are becoming Kaput. However – Rozalin has organized for the guys to come on Monday and - if it is the usual guy - he is a genius – a veritable Michelangelo of heating – and will sort them out very quickly.

So I expect that we will be very warm by Tuesday evening.

Tuesday is important for me as on Tuesday night Cate has invited some of her staff home for a Christmas Knees Up. So I will be spending the next two days preparing for this fantastic and gastronomical event. The cooking will not be a problem but the peripheral activities will be the killer.

I will (as I usually do) imagine that I have everything under control and will be cruising along peacefully  when disaster will swoop from the clouds like the Angel of Death.

Cate will say something like ‘have you polished the Toaster?’
‘The Toaster! Have you polished the Toaster?’
‘Why would I polish the Toaster?’
‘Because it is not shiny enough – it needs to be really shiny!’
‘Who the feck cares if the Toaster is shiny?’
 ‘I do!’

So I will polish the fecking Toaster and then tidy the inside of the bathroom cupboard in the guest room (someone might look in there) and by this time my soup will has boiled over and the potatoes are burning.

From a situation of supreme control we have deteriorated into one of catastrophe and blind panic. The kitchen is beginning to look like it was decorated by Al Qaeda and Sons and the guests are arriving in 10 minutes - and I haven’t vacuumed the front door mat or polished the light globes in the studies.

It will take me days to recover – and I will have to go to SCS to buy a Toaster  replace the one I threw into courtyard.


  1. Ha! I'm the same way as Cate!

    I may have deep-cleaned the whole interior of the house for an outdoor barbecue party. May have.

  2. Hmmm. I know the syndrome. My penance was "polishing the brasses". Good luck Badger.

  3. Maybe you should exchange your Michelangelo for a Leonardo da Vinci? Methinks Leonardo was a bit more on the practical side.

  4. I know the feeling. We're having a lunch party on Sunday. Fingers crossed that it doesn't rain as there is not enough room inside to seat 8 people around our table, and not enough indoor seats in any case.

    BTW, I loved the Sissi in the snow video.

  5. I wondered if 'polish the toaster' was some sort of euphemism...

    Apparently not.

  6. Jessica: It's a girl thing.

    Maalie: Yes I can just imagine with what level of boyish enthusiasm you tackled that task.

    Merisi: You are right of course - Nt my guy did the job.

    Annie: Good luck with that. You know how god hates Atheist lunch parties.

    white rabbit: LoL.