Monday, April 27, 2009

A Pepperoni Pizza - and hold the Pepperoni!

It’s a well known fact that John Howard and Peter Costello caused the global recession. Sure – people aren’t talking about their role in this awful business – but we know they were responsible.

I am not sure how they did it – but by the Lord Harry they are cunning and devious and were able to cover their tracks very well.

I mention this in passing because – while John and Peter caused me endless suffering and misery – just by being there – the current incumbent of the Lodge has given me a gift.

$900 to be precise – paid into my bank account.

This is part of the stimulus package designed to help Australia out of the mess that John and Peter left it in.

Now – I may not help much because I will spend it in Austria – but this will help the Austrians immensely. I fact I have already spent it.

For my birthday I was going to ask Cate for a baby notebook PC that I can use when I travel so that I don’t have to take the Dell Godzilla with me. It is enormous and weighs a lot.

So today – after checking my bank account to make sure that Kevin was not just kidding I went to see my friend Mario at Hartlauer and bought a baby HP computer. It is just delicious and I love it. Of course everything is in German – including the keyboard so it will take some getting used to but I am ready for the challenge.

This means that Cate does not have to waste any money on me and can buy more useful things - like frocks - with her money.

There was a minor glitch because I wanted a black PC but when I got it home it was white. You may think this is astonishing if I tell you that Mario took it out of its box to look at the serial number – and neither of us noticed that it was white.

But I promise you Kevin – when we come back in July we will spend a boatload of money!

I saw my Doctor this morning to get something for an infection (I don’t think it’s Mexican Swine Flu but you can never be too sure).

He gave me something that gave me a rash all over and brought me out in large lumps. These calmed down after a couple of hours but I am reluctant to take another dose.

I am sick of paying all this money for medicine to Apothekes. I am thinking of cutting out the middle woman (I have never seen a man in an Apotheke) and of taking my cricket bat next time I go to see Dr Mordor so he can just club me to death and be done with it.

Cycling on the weekend was the hardest it has ever been. We both went on Saturday to the other end of Donauinsel and road back into the teeth of a howling gale. It was awful.

I went on Sunday – after Cate left for Paris – and it was worse.

Today I went out to go to post office and the bicycle shop and it is no better. And no matter where I go I seem to be riding into a headwind. It is really hard going and my knees are giving me trouble. Perhaps I should go and see the Doctor? Hmmm….perhaps not - at least I can still walk.

I went to the bicycle shop to get a repair kit and a spare tube. As we (and particularly I) travel so far afield now I can be up to 20 kilometres from home. This is a long walk home if I have a flat tire so I had to get the bits and pieces to make the appropriate repairs.

It is a long time since I have changed a bike tire but I am sure I will pick it up again. Things are much more compact. I have a small bag big enough for a Swiss Army Knife and a toothpick and it (so the man says) contains everything I need to repair the bike. We shall see. It probably contains a Swiss Army Knife and a toothpick.

Last night (as Cate is in Paris) I went to Pizzeria Grado and ordered a Pepperoni Pizza. These normally come covered with all sorts of stuff including some type of crappy peppery things. I did not want this so I said ‘Nur Pepperoni’ – meaning in German ‘only Pepperoni’.

I guess the waiter thought I said ‘no Pepperoni’ because what I got was a cheese Pizza – with nothing on it except enormous amounts of cheese – and of course the usual crappy peppery things which I always have to scrape off.

I ate every chewy mouthful as I pondered why the waiter thought I would ask for a Pepperoni Pizza – but hold the Pepperoni. Why wouldn’t I just ask for a cheese Pizza.

Perhaps there is an obscure German Grammar rule that says that ‘nur’ is ‘only’ except when it is being used to ask for a Pepperoni Pizza – when it means ‘no Pepperoni’.


  1. You know you suck when they think you are speaking English!

    Apotheke sounds so medieval, do they give you strange tree roots and tonics? It certainly sounds that way.

  2. It is interesting that more females than males seem to study pharmacy here in Austria. It takes so many hard-core science courses that pharmacy alone should refute the old myths that women avoid science like the devil.

    I wished I could introduce you to my Man on the Moon, er, my Apothekenmann! He is the kindest, most knowledgeable pharmacist immaginable (only a subway ride away from you, btw!).

    I have no idea what Austrians understand when you order a Pepperoni Pizza (sans what did you say??). Could it be that they understand "Pfefferoni" (that would be those mean little hot peppers) when you want "Pepperoni" (or not). You could print yourself a set of little picture cards (just a suggestion *smile*). Why would you eat a pizza in Wien anyway?

  3. I like Apotheke - it conjures up mystery - which unfortunately is not present in them - but still.

    I was eating a Pizza because I had cooked Cate and her visiting colleague a wonderful lunch (Grilled Salmon, Salad, my SPECIAL mashed potato) before Cate went to Paris and I was hungry in the evening and couldn't be bothered with cooking anything (not that there was anything to cook)

    I am not daunted by this failure (Had I been daunted by failure I would have left Wien a long time ago) and will carry on with my special German Language Mangling skills - which I practice daily.

  4. And BTW Keegan - I speak French without (much of) an accent - but I will NEVER speak German without sounding like a halfwit sucking a golf ball.

  5. ha ha!French is better anyway.

  6. I agree about French but as we live in Vienna.....

  7. while searching for pepperoni pizza i somehow found your blog... i like it! while spending 2 months in the us i discovered the "american" pepperoni pizza, but i'm somehow unable to find it here in vienna... all you get here is like salami and some pfefferoni (which i don't really like)... did you had real pepperoni pizza or just salami pizza with all that disgusting things on it?