Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Miss Snow Mountain is moving to Brazil

Today I had my lesson with Miss Snow Mountain and we actually had a conversation (after a fashion) for about an hour.

Admittedly this was at kindergarten level and I had to use English words, some French, sign language Charades and Morse Code but it demonstrates to me that if I keep at this for another year or so I may be able to have a conversation with a (not so) intelligent 7 year old German child.

Miss Snow Mountain told me something of her history. Apparently her father was a White Slaver in Gambia but he was devoured by a Hippopotamus in the Zambezi while trying to drill for oil (He was drilling – not the Hippo).

Her mother is a hot air ballooner who does daily flights over Carinthia and shoots deer from the Gondola with a bow and arrow – pulls them up and roasts them.

Miss Snow Mountain tragically lost both legs when she was attacked by a Wild Boar while skiing but manages now with wooden legs (it doesn’t show at all).

There was a lot more but this is all I could understand. I still have to check a couple of words so the above may not be entirely accurate.

However, what is true is that Miss Snow Mountain is going to live in Brazil with her boyfriend Caruso who is either a contract killer or a football trainer. (I didn't think I should ask for clarification).

She will leave in June which really messes up Cate because she was planning to have her second lesson around about then (the first one was in December). She is leaving 6 months between each lesson so that she can totally absorb the word she has learned.

However, We have managed to break through the 13 barrier she can now count to 20. Once you get there with German it’s dead easy.

It is starting to get really hot in the apartment and I am going to have to go to SDS to look for machines to cool the place down. Our experience from last year is that the studies upstairs are unusable when it gets really hot because the roof melts and drips onto the computer keyboards and Muffin.

I have lacquered the ducks. (Oh – I am not sure I mentioned the ducks) We bought two wire ducks to adorn our terrace and keep our new outdoor furniture company. As these will be outside for most of the time they needed to be protected so I went to the local hardware shop and acquired some clear lacquer to spray them.

This has been done and the ducks are now fully protected against the elements. I shall in due course provide pictures.

The man at the hardware shop speaks NO English at all so – as I alway have to ask for things the names of which I do not know – we have some fantastical conversations. Had we recorded the one about wanting Clear Lacquer in Gloss it would certainly be on You Tube.

But he is a lovely man and when I buy small things he wraps them up in little cones fashioned from newspaper.

And by the way – Cate LIKES the outdoor furniture. I am not sure what she is up to but am keeping a close eye on her. This is clearly a cunning ruse.

It is Possum’s Birthday soon so there will of course be a special mention in the Blog. However, Possum does complain that I do not always respond to things she puts in her letters to me. It’s like this:

Possum is a most venerable, erudite and intelligent person and knows more about most things than anyone on the planet. But Cate and I cannot read her writing. We try – Leaping Lizards we try – we received a letter on Thursday and spent 10 minutes just on one word alone before giving up.

Possum writes like she is holding her pen in her mouth but has no teeth, forgot to put her glasses on, is holding the paper between her toes, is riding the Bucking Bronco at the Crazy Horse Saloon – and is drunk.

It is without doubt the most indecipherable writing I have ever seen and – had Possum been the Chief Scribe at the time and carved out the Rosetta Stone – they would still be working on it and we would know us much about the Ancients as we do now about why GWB did what he did.

No comments:

Post a Comment