The last on the list is decapitation

Sydney harbour from the Zoo

John the Builder came to look at our ceiling today. He is an expert on this house – having built it – so immediately sourced the leak to the master bathroom.

However, a considerable amount of ferreting about failed to pinpoint the cause of the problem so he is going to have to (Uh Oh) cut holes in the living room ceiling.

He says he will not do this before Sunday as it will make a hell of a mess. So people will just have to look at the ceiling – which is pretty well shagged – and wonder.

But everything else will be OK as I have spent the day dusting and cleaning and polishing. I dusted some things I have never seen before – even though I know they have been with us since we arrived in June last year.

I used my Wonder window washer on a stick - which is just brilliant - for doing the outsides.

We get very few birds now because there is a cat that hangs around our back garden. It murdered a bird while we were away – we saw the pile of feathers – and the others are being very careful.

We chase the cat away when we see it – but our garden is not fully fenced so there is no way we can stop it from coming in.

I am worried about the squirrels and am keeping the corn up to them in their squirrel house so that they do not venture onto the lawn.

The cats have stepped up the terror campaign and now both seem to be using the dining room floor as a toilet.

This may be in punishment for the invasion of the house by strangers next Sunday – which they have somehow learned about – maybe by reading my emails when I was away.

I am trying a number of different solutions. The final one on the list is decapitation.