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| Some sort of Goose in Stockholm |
So remember that tomorrow we are going to Sweden to
cycle.
I know it seems like a long way to go to cycle when the Monon trail is
only 200 yards away - but this is what
we do.
I always want to
blog when we are away but one never knows about wireless connections.
But Sweden is a very sophisticated country and I
cannot imagine that there are too many places without Internet. Although we are
in the wilds on the west coast – so one never knows.
We like Sweden because it is one of those terrible
socialist countries which has universal health care – and social security
benefits at a level that mean that after you retire you do not have to live in a brown
paper bag in a septic tank and lick hot gravel for breakfast.
And – shock horror! Almost no one owns a gun. Which
of course means that there are no massacres in schools or cinemas.
This totally
wrecks the breaking news segments on local TV. These are restricted to lost dogs and stolen
snowmobiles.
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| Lutfisk prior to being used as a blunt instrument |
Naturally – every now and again – someone gets
beaten to death with a Lutfisk – but these events are uncommon. It is difficult
to create havoc with a Lutfisk.
By the time the perp manages to beat one person to
death with a Lutfisk – the Lutfisk would be totally shagged and flabby and good
for nothing – not even eating. Well - my memory is that even in a pristine state they are not good for eating.
You would need a trailer load of Lutfisk – and
weeks - to perpetrate an atrocity – and the very efficient Swedish police would
certainly take you in hand well before this.
But I am taking no chances. We are taking sunscreen, umbrellas and Lutfisk repellent. Just in case.
But I am taking no chances. We are taking sunscreen, umbrellas and Lutfisk repellent. Just in case.
Have a wonderful time! I will be dreaming of being anywhere but here. These days I dream of becoming a reclusive gardener in a big hat in some obscure English village. No guns there and definitely no lutfisk.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that frozen lutefisk would be a better weapon, having an automatic lutefisk dispensor would help too. As far as a silencer on the lutefisk, perhaps you could put a layer of cloth around it to soften the thud noise of the beating. But I am sure the lutefisk beating victim is noisier than the thudding, so that would require a different type of noise suppression. Oh, wow, I have been watching tooo many episodes of Fargo. 'Lorne Malvo' - det låter svenskt. (That sounds Swedish)
ReplyDeleteHave fun cycling and stay away from Norway, they stiLL know how to massacre people there by guns.