Monday, March 28, 2011

Sissi is the culprit

Maalie has confirmed that dead animals do not moult.

Closer examination has revealed that Sissi spends a lot of time kneading the rug and pulling the hair out - so that explains the mystery. See picture of culprit above. 

How it gets into my sock drawer and toothbrush mug is another matter entirely. 

And no Maalie - it was not the cheap option - it was in fact the most expensive rug in the hut. 

I had to pick up our Dive gear today and encountered more problems. We apparently have not been cleaning our gear properly after each dive and water got into the First Stages and they were like the insides of coffee percolators. Gabi was disappointed with me.

We clean the way we were taught to but this is not the Austrian way. We need to mend our ways or face the consequences. 

Also Cate’s Regulator had a faulty diaphragm thingy which made it a bit wobbly when I tested it in the shop.

Sucking was fine but blowing was a bit dicey no matter how I adjusted it. It was probably alright and Gabi assured me that it was in perfect working order. It just made a bit of a flapping noise. She even offered to do a re-service just to make sure but I said no.

I said that you do not mess around with the life of a woman who keeps you in the style that Cate keeps me.

Where else would I find a woman who would give me sole control of the bank accounts and who does not even know her own Bankomat PIN?

Anyway the gear is years old and you just cannot be too careful with this stuff because it is just so damn easy to die under water - so easy in fact that in Sydney four people have done it during the last couple of weeks – for no apparent reason.

So I did the only thing I could under the circumstances and bought Cate a spiffy new Cressy First Stage and Regulator. Very space-age and modern and light.

Of course you also have to have a matching Cressy Occie rated for the same pressure. Otherwise horrible things may happen.

Naturally I got one for myself as well – because I just know that she values my life as much as she values hers and wants me to have the best.

Also – I am the only one who knows her Bankomat PIN. If I am not here she has no way of getting any money out of the bank.

Diving is like every other sport where there are unlimited spending opportunities.  Armies of technicians and creative people are beavering away day and night designing fabulous new gear to ensure that the very instant you buy something and take it out of the store – it is obsolete. 

So when you arrive on board the boat you never flaunt your new gear because you just know that  – whatever you have – someone has something newer and better – and will tell you about it at some length - given half an opportunity.

And speaking of things you just must have.

I collected my Time Magazine from the letterbox today – looked at the back cover - and noted with astonishment that TAG Heuer has made a watch that will

‘measure and display the 1/1,000th of a second, making it 125 times more accurate than most existing mechanical chronographs’.

Well I immediately thought ‘That’s what I need!’

My days are simply so jam packed that I need that sort of precision in my life.

Imagine what you could do if you saved all these precious moments up. Why – put together a thousand of them and you would have - let's see - a full second . Collect a few seconds together and you could say – loudly

‘WTF would anyone want a watch like that for?’


  1. Badger I am delighted to note that, using your own words, you have employed the correct word precision; whereas in their advert, they have used the wrong word "accuracy".

    Ii might be worth sending them a note to remind them that a broken clock is accurate twice a day (or only once, if it's reaing the 24hr scale).

  2. Maalie: And you thought only the English could speak the King's English.

    lenny: I will get you one duty free if you send me the money.