Thursday, August 26, 2010

We may have to pop your eye out!

I didn’t post yesterday because I was distracted by my eyes.  
Also Cate is away and am am missing her and Rozalin’s husband’s father died after a long illness and things have just been a bit wobbly all over. 
Also I have chipped a front tooth and now look like Bucky Beaver. 
So Rozalin arranged for me to get to see the eye doctor and a team of people did a lot of tests.
A very young lady put a patch over each eye in turn and I had to press my nose to an eye thing and press a button every time I saw a pinpoint of light. I clearly failed this test and said after it was finished that I did not think I had done very well.
‘Everyone makes mistakes' she said helpfully but not reassuringly.
I saw a succession of even younger people and helped one with her homework until I finally managed to see the doctor herself and she told me that there were some problems and that they would have to do more tests and she was going to put some drops in my eyes so I would not be able to see anything for a while and that they might have to pop my eye out to have a look at it.
(Pop my what out?? Are you pulling my chain lady!)
And anyway she said - it was 1:00 and Mittagspause so could I come back at 2:00 PM. 
Absolutely I said - can't wait!
(You are going to pop it back in after you have finished with it aren’t you?)
I eventually found Cafe Central with some help - it was only  a block away - and people were anxious to help this clearly deranged man with very large pupils wandering aimlessly along Herrengasse. 
I ordered a Wiener Wurstel on the basis that I could only see very large things and then only if I got real close to them - and munched away as I mournfully pondered the bleak future (starting after 2 with some eye popping). 
After lunch the doctor was much more cheerful and it seems that her Mittagspause had solved most of my problems.
She said that I have cataracts on both eyes and that this is normal for my age and that there was no evidence of any eye disease and there was a new prescription waiting at the counter for me and comeback in 8 weeks with my new glasses for a check up.
The receptionist at the counter told me that this is the last hot day of summer. I am sure she is too young to know this sort of stuff but I am hoping. It was so bloody hot - and I could see very little - so I caught the U-Bahn home.
It is a fabulous system - I think it is good as the Paris Metro. 
Perhaps I will not need a patch - but I may end up looking like Mr Magoo. 


  1. When my husband was 8 he tied his brother's bike to the verandah railing.
    When he decided to free the bike from the rope with a pair of scissors, not being a particularly bright child, he had the pointy bit of the scissors aimed straight at his face.
    Oh yes.
    Straight through his left iris.
    They popped his eye out and stitched up the back of it.

    You are very brave for going back to the eye doctor after lunch. I would have run very fast in the opposite direction, in a zigzag fashion, screaming and waving my arms.

  2. Well, at least it's not something worse. They can treat it with surgery if it deteriorates, right?

  3. BTW, Woog and I are making plans for you. You're really missing out by not being on Twitter. Are your ears burning?

  4. Sounds like you are going to be fine -- great news :-)

  5. Im sorry. I had to stop reading after the eye popping bit. I have a super queasy stomach.
    However, it sounds as though maybe they didn't have to do that after all...?! Was she kidding? That doesn't really happen does it? The eye doctore use to be the least scary in my book but oh no! No more! Dentist just moved up a spot!
    I'm going to eat some toast then try this post again. I need some closure.

  6. I know the push button light test well as I undergo it every two year - my mother lost her sight to glaucoma so I considered at risk.

    Hooray! Jim's sight returned to 20-20 after his cataracts were removed! Good luck with yours.

  7. I think it's a shame you didn't go to the dentist on the same day. What a sight you'd have been wandering around the town drooling as you tried to find your way. At least the scary bit is over now Mr Magoo.

  8. Thank you all for your kind comments. I am assured that a new prescription will do the job and that surgery will not be required for a while yet. Yes they do pop eyes out - and back in. Wanderlust and Mrs Woog - I am about to sally forth into Twitter! I have had a bit on lately. Merisi: You have no mercy at all.