Friday, October 15, 2010

You could have seen me from space!

This is practical! 

One glaring thing about London (and possibly elsewhere in the UK) is that many young women dress like – well - trollops.  The latest fashion seems to be black stockings, or leggings, with very short skirts or shorts – and in many cases what looks like underwear worn on the outside.

This is coupled with the desire to show the maximum amount of flesh and – ahem – cleavage.

I was going to write about this but decided that I am totally out of my depth and just do not understand any of it. 

It is like Ugg boots in summer. Incomprehensible and inexplicable – but if it is fashionable that is all that matters. 

My experience has been that young women would wear absolutely anything in the name of fashion. 

I have noticed recently that 'pre-stressed' jeans have been taken over by 'already deceased' jeans. The new models look like they have been removed from bodies following massive explosions. Or alternatively wrestled from the mouths of Alligators and then washed with gravel and soot in a cement mixer.  

And no – they do not give these away – I saw some in a shop in Vienna for more than €200.

That is a lot of money for a pair of pants that formerly belonged to a successful suicide bomber.

I guess the Alligators are expensive to keep – they need to give them something to eat besides jeans.

But what would I know. I used to wear a nylon tie with bell-bottomed pants, an iridescent green shirt and shoes that Goofy would have been proud of. There was no danger of me being hit by a car when I was staggering home from the pub. You could have seen me from space.

Today my wardrobe consists almost entirely of black T-shirts and blue jeans – with an Italian leather jacket.  I consider this to be understated and cool. I have not dared asked for an opinion from anyone else – although Cate often sighs when she sees me ‘dressed up’ to go out.

And another thing. I discovered to my great horror recently that a slang term for a delicate and furry part of a woman’s anatomy is not only  ‘Beaver’ but also ‘Badger’.

Llama told me this in Italy and I was of course shocked to the core. It has made me question my whole identity.

Is nothing sacred?


  1. We don't get shielas wearing stuff like that up here in Cumbria, Badger.

  2. I'm struggling here with why black stockings, short skirts, maximum flesh and cleavage are things to fret about. Wish more young women in Vienna would dress like that!

  3. I don't understand Ugg Boots in any season.

    My hometown (Portland, Oregon) is known for it's "relaxed" attitude and dress code, so much that there's a joke that we wear our "good fleece/flannel" when going to the theatre.

    It's totally set me up for failure now that I live in the somewhat pretentious and etiquette-laden South. I dress up when appropriate, but I'm definitely a t-shirt and jeans person and rarely wear make-up or do much of anything else with my hair than have it in a ponytail.

  4. Black tees and jeans with a leather jacket is uber kool, depending on the shoes you wear. The wrong shoes could destroy the look.

    My signature outfit is jeans, a black cotton polo neck and boots. If it's cold I add a black wool blazer. Leather would be so much better!

  5. You find the weirdest pictures... lol

  6. Glen: They went with the nylon socks.

    Maalie: I bet you do. How long since you have been clubbing?

    viennesewaltz: Well I am only concerned for them p- not for me.

    Jessica: Well..they are really warm and ideal for European winters.

    SK Waller: I will be really careful about the shoes. There are some fantastic sights on the web.