Thursday, August 6, 2009

Where is Ricky's mother?

The trip to Melk Abbey was a great success (apart from a rather unsatisfactory trip to the restaurant where Melissa ended up with a plate of meat and I got gravy with my Wurstel - rather than Senf – but I did ask for Saft so cannot complain).

This is what happens when you don’t have a good command of the German language – you get sausages in a bowl of gravy.

Following on from Annabella’s comments, there are two glass cases in the Abbey Kirche - each containing the bones of ‘Catacomb Saints’. Their names are not known but they have been called ‘Friedrich’ and ‘Clemens’. The bones were presented to the church by Maria Theresia in 1762.

I am not sure how they got to be saints but they probably did some really good stuff a long time ago. It was apparently much easier to become a saint then and these days all sorts of qualifications are required - including proof of miracles.

These too are harder to come by as some cynical folks (like me) just don’t believe a lot of stuff that is tossed about as miraculous.

Now – if there was a real miracle (such as smoking being banned in restaurants in Austria) then I may change my tune – but anyway you are sure sick of me banging on about that!

The skeletons are very fancily dressed. They remind me of some of the gear that Michael Jackson wore. Even though they are many hundreds of years old they still look better than Michael did even on a good day (Oh you miserable uncharitable mean spirited sod!)

If you go there you must see these guys.

We went to Benko which is an award winning Japanese restaurant in Ungargasse – and were under whelmed to a substantial degree. My Tempura took forever to arrive and was very sparse indeed (two types of vegetables and what appeared to be a dead mouse).

Melissa’s Salmon did not have ginger with it – and this shows a lack of panache and overall attention to detail. Melissa ate the dead mouse but even so I have not been well all day with a migraine and a general feeling of malaise.

However – we are not prepared to write them off on the basis of one visit and will see them again next time Melissa is here.

It’s news day and I report from (what else) the Austrian Times

“An Austrian man has told how he had to beat off a 100-kilo catfish after it reared up out of a lake and tried to eat him.The 36-year-old from Ternberg in Steyr-Land district, Upper Austria, had been fishing with pals on a lake near Györ in western Hungary when he hooked the giant fish yesterday (Tues) and, after two hours of it pulling the boat around, tried to haul it in, the Vienna newspaper Kronen Zeitung reported.But he claimed that when he did the fish jumped on him and bit him on the leg before hauling him into the three metre deep water.He said he managed to force the fish, which he said seemed to be trying to eat him, away by kicking and punching it.It then freed itself from the hook and swam off”

Look I am sure the fish was not trying to eat him – but it was probably not all that happy after hauling him and his boat around for two hours.

And anyway – do fish have teeth? Can they bite?

I am not sure a fish – even one weighing 100 pounds – can eat a person unless it is able to chew.

To eat him whole the fish would need to weigh a Tonne and have jaws as tough as Ricky Ponting.

Incidentally – not that I am saying that I told you so – but I did. The Australian cricket team is just not up to the task and Ricky is not providing good leadership. And quite understandably. I don’t know how anyone could chew gum with the intensity and ferocity that he does and still focus on playing cricket.

His jaws must be completely knackered by the end of the day and have to be put in splints. He probably lives on liquids – probably beer – he certainly wouldn’t be able to chew food. Maybe this is why he is not thinking straight – not enough solid food.

Doesn’t anyone tell him what it looks like to chew gum with your mouth open. Where is his mother?

Incidentally – we must be heading towards the skiing season. In the last few days no less than four Austrians have died falling off mountains in various parts of Austria. This is just practice for the carnage which will occur as soon as the snow starts.

This does not include the 85 year old Burgenland pensioner who fell into his empty swimming pool. Well – if you are going to leave your swimming pool empty in the middle of summer you must accept the consequences.

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