Sack the coach

Almost as good as Vienna

I saw on TV today that the World Health Organization has said that processed foods such as ham, bacon and hotdogs cause cancer. This therefore may be my last blog so I thank you all for reading. I have bacon and eggs in the fridge and will have my last meal tonight.

The Colts gave another stupendously inadequate performance yesterday so they will probably have to sack the coach. When players play really badly they always sack the coach. It’s a bit like when horses win races they give the prize to the owner. If the horse is really lucky it gets extra oats and does not get shot.

I have never understood why they shoot horses. My late (and former) brother-in-law had a succession of really bad horses (this came after his really bad greyhound period). He once persuaded me to have a modest wager on one of the moth-eaten nags that he owned (you can bet the house on it he said) but I – having been through the greyhound period -was unlikely ever to bet anything much on a dog or horse owned by my brother –in-law.

Anyway the horse – the name of which I cannot remember – probably something like Bag of Bones – broke its leg and was shot on the spot. How is that for the double whammy!

A waiter in the airport at Washington asked me where I came from and when I said that I came from Indianapolis he asked me how I felt about the really stupid and abysmally awful fake punt stuff up that lost the Colts the game last week. I said I – like millions of football fans – had no idea what it was or why it was done or what it was trying to achieve. The coach does not know either – so what chance do I have.

I have started feeding the birds again. Well I have started putting seed out anyway but they have not yet found it. I have not fed them all winter so that they do not get lazy and lose their bird-like habits. I imagine word will soon spread and we will have another Alfred Hitchcock winter.

I have sort of fed the squirrels spasmodically but will now keep the corn topped up.

I think Cate is about to go to Germany. She had a wonderful time in Holland – which is indeed a beautiful country – and I know because I cycled most of it at full speed behind a crazy bike guide who was fixated about getting from point A to point B as soon as possible.

Stop at any time and take a photo she said. What she did not say was that she was not going to stop and that if you did you would have to go like the hounds of hell were after you to catch the group. So I took many photos of Holland with one hand on the camera – while riding at full speed.