Sunday, September 19, 2010

He she's perfect!

You touch your Willy and I will beat you do death with my club and then fill you full of lead!
Turns out the Christine is madder a bit crazier than I thought she was - but not too crazy for the Tea Party or US Senate. 
Christine’s beliefs include:
She opposes abortion, including in cases of rape and incest.
She has condemned research declaring that "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains”.
(I am not making this up!) 
She is a gun supporter and the NRA has endorsed her she "will be a strong voice in fighting ongoing efforts by anti-gun politicians to dismantle the Second Amendment. 
She is opposed to the Health Care reforms and has pledged to legislatively remove federal funding from the law.
She has said that she will never vote to increase taxes.
She has advocated the teaching of creationism in public schools and argued for a literal interpretation of the Bible’s Book of Genesis.
She has rejected Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution asserting that  it "had not met scientific criteria" and that "when you get down to the hard evidence, it's merely a theory.
But we shouldn’t be too hard on her - after all President Bush said that ‘the jury was out on evolution’. 
It’s quite possible that after November Christine will be a Senator and will have for company a number of people who share her beliefs, prejudices and bat-brained ideas. 
I lie awake contemplating the damage these people will be able to do to America and to civilization as a whole. 
I don’t know about you - but it scares the shit out of me. 
But on a lighter note - apropos Christine’s campaign against masturbation - Borowitz is brilliant as usual. 


  1. The "largest pro-wanking protest in America". Love it.

  2. Citizens of the world, help us, please!

  3. In addition to being a thundering loon, she's also got quite a lurid financial past.

    She attended her university's commencement ceremony in 1993 but did not receive a degree, due to outstanding unpaid tuition.

    In 1994, Fairleigh Dickinson sued her for $4,823, winning a judgment in New Jersey for the entire amount, according to court documents. The debt was paid in 2003.

    The IRS has filed a lien and said that O’Donnell owes $11,000 in back taxes. Her 2008 campaign ended with $23,000 in debt, and between 2007 and 2009 the Federal Election Commission cited her eight times for failing to supply contributions reports on time.

    As of 2010, she owes payments to staffers, consultants, and volunteers from the 2008 campaign.

    Moral convictions? O'Donnell would do better to masturbate.

  4. What, she will not lower taxes???
    She should be sent to Mendel's abby to count peas in perpetuity (or til Kingdom come, whichever comes first).

  5. Oh she sounds like fun. Americans please say no - you do not need another one of these people representing you. PS I bet she is a chronic masturbator.xo

  6. Don't forget about when she "dabbled in witchcraft." Hoo yeah.

  7. I love Borowitz.

    And if she makes it to Congress, if fear there is no hope for America's future.

  8. I rather suspect that the Tea Party has gone one looney too far with our girl - but November will be very interesting! (And it is America so ANYTHING is possible)