Monday, February 15, 2010

Silver was just not good enough!

Mr. Grumpy on the left in this picture is someone called Dale Begg-Smith. He is an adopted Australian but was born in Canada.

He is apparently unhappy about getting the silver medal in the Moguls at the winter Olympics.

Very unhappy in fact. It may be because the Canadians are calling him a Traitor.

This is one of the stupidest sports imaginable and has to be seen to be believed. Otherwise perfectly sane men (and women) go over a small jump and then ski as fast and as acrobatically as they can to the bottom – over snow lumps. The one who is fastest and/or gets the most points wins.

Now – any sport which is allocated even partially on the basis of points awarded by judges does not deserve to be in the Olympics. The Olympics are for the fastest, highest, strongest etc. As soon as you start awarding points you start getting into corruption and politics – Ice Dancing being a prime example.

And Ice Dancing. What is that doing in the Olympics? What is the point of dressing like clowns and skimming around throwing women into the air - and into the walls?

Not that I am knocking them – if you threw me 10 feet into the air and span me around three times I can guarantee that I would not land on my skates. It is a miracle to me that anyone does it all – and I just cannot watch it – partly because it is so boring I would rather eat my own liver but also because I feel so bad for the women who crash into the ice.

I think the women should throw the men – they are stronger and will bounce better.

Back to Mr. Begg-Smith. He was born in Canada. He should be representing Canada. That’s where he lives – and by all accounts – runs one of the world’s largest spamming operations.

This business of people being adopted by other countries for sporting reasons is nonsense. You represent the country in which you were born. End of story.

The same for the screen actors who we claim. Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii – and she should be called an American. Russell Crowe was born in New Zealand and is a Kiwi. Mel Gibson was born in America (Notice that we no longer claim HIM as an Australian!).

The same should apply to politicians. Barak Obama should be President of Kenya.

Until his death I was only vaguely aware of Alexander McQueen and I regret not paying more attention. I spent a couple of minutes perusing the headlines in London newspapers and if the real Queen gets this much coverage and the accompanying massive and hysterical outpouring of grief when she goes she should be well pleased.

Clearly he was an extraordinary man – and this can be seen in his hat designs featured in this blog. He obviously specialized in clothes that could not be worn anywhere – as so many fashion designers do – and apparently this is the whole point.

(I am finally beginning to understand it. I always used to think "who would wear that?" Answer – No One!)

Liz Jones raved about his designs:

“There was the show where the models were encased in a glass specimen jar, with a finale featuring thousands of moths released into the air around the clearly terrified models. There was the show where Shalom Harlow was standing on a platform in a ball gown, only to be spray-painted by robots. And, of course, there was the show featuring Aimee Mullins, a model without legs, who stalked the catwalk on intricately carved wooden prosthetics”

But then (the absolute bitch) went on to say that she had never actually bought any of his clothes because they were not made to be worn.

Well – hasn’t the fashion world torn her apart for that! Meow Meow! Her Blog is on FIRE!

Well I now think he was fantastic and I am just so sorry that I did not pay more attention.

I just cannot wait for Mr. McQueen’s State Funeral and the interment in Westminster Abbey.

However, on the bright side for London – our very own Pauline Hanson (the Oxley Moron) is migrating to the UK. She has decided not to run for political office again.

Pauline was elected to office (on the Aborigine-migrant bashing ticket) but lost at the next election. She then ran this fantastic scam for years. Each time she would run she would not get elected but would get a sufficient percentage of the vote to ensure that she picked up a hundred thousand dollars or so – having spent approximately $2.50 in election expenses.

Now they are changing the rules and will only reimburse actual expenses – so there is no point in hanging about in Australia – where she is not much loved.

But – I am sure there will be lots of opportunities for Pauline to play the racist card in the UK – and she will probably get honorary membership of the BNP.

I am not sure she will be able to play the ‘Pakistanis eat their babies’ card like she did in Australia with Aborigines – but she will think of something.

As Annie has pointed out - she ran a Fish and Chip shop in Australia so should be able to find something to do in Blighty.


  1. Pauline Hanson for Leo Sayer seems a somewhat protracted swap, even though I don't doubt that it's probably fair..

  2. I love this post. Hello. Kristin said you were funny and I agree.

  3. Matthew: I once spent an hour with Leo in a queue to get through customs in Sydney. (I said to him 'being famous and having frizzy hair doesn't matter a rat's arse to Australian customs' I guarantee he is better value than Pauline.

    frog ponds rock: you are much too kind. Send money.

  4. I imagine someone ordering fish and chips from PH,
    that is fish, and chips on the right side only.

    *please laugh here*

  5. A nice pair of Mallard wings in that head dress, you have to admit!

  6. Boo to (a) judges awarding points and (b) swapping countries. Makes me almost hate Olympics (except luge).

    P.S. I have that hat (antler one) (duh-who would wear duck one?).

  7. You have an Antler hat? The person who would wear a duck one would be a duh-ck