Monday, October 31, 2016

It is apparently idiot proof

Why do women complain when I grope them? I am so rich and so orange. 
My goodness I am bad at blogging.

Over the last week I have made two types of pumpkin soup. Both were inedible. I have never been able to make pumpkin soup. Whatever I make is disgusting. I don't understand this because I follow tried and true recipes but have obviously not used the right amount of ingredients.

Anyway both batches went down the Insinkerator. I love that word. It takes talent to make a word like that. A word of advice. Do not put asparagus down your Insinkerator. It will die and a man will come and say 'you should never put asparagus down your Insinkerator’. Not only will its pee smell funny - but it will be completely fucked!

But recently I have made some excellent Thai dishes. We have an astonishing market here that sells absolutely everything Asian including lemongrass. What a wonderful thing this is. At this market there were - and I counted them - 60 different types of leafy vegetables. I bought shrimp paste and other stuff that you cannot find anywhere else. I could have bought cod balls and grees nuts but I have no idea what these are for. 

The fence is being moved again on Wednesday. This is to give Georgia more grass. She really loves grass and we can play chase the hippo for hours. The hippos are indestructible plastic toys that squeak and she loves them. We cannot give her anything made of fibre or cloth because she destroys them and eats them and the results are not pretty. It is bad enough collecting large turds  - but multicolored stringy ones are just too much early in the morning.

We have a very large and very old house and there are three stories. It is hard to see what is happening up top but my casual observations have deduced that large bits are rotting and are in need of attention. There is no way of proving this because there is simply no way I am going to climb an 80 foot ladder. At my stage of life I am risking everything just climbing out of bed.

So I thought I should buy a drone with a camera so that I could send it up to take photographs of the destruction.

Drones are much more difficult to manage than I had imagined. But then I have trouble with the toaster so it should not have been much of a surprise. I spent some time crashing into trees and bushes before it took on a life if its own and vanished into the ether. The last time I saw the drone it was heading towards Carmel. I am sure I will not see it again but can only hope that its last act was to decapitate a Trump supporter. 

I have ordered another drone from Amazon. This one is apparently idiot proof. But these drones have never encountered an idiot like me. We shall see. 

We gave Georgia her first bath on the weekend. Oh sure she has had baths before at dog grooming places but we have never dared to try. So we girded our loins and had a go. We were not expecting much as she is the most timid dog in all of Christendom. The previous day we had been at Petco and she was such a wimp I told he that she really had to put her big girl pants on. I did in fact say after Petco that she did not appear to have any big girl pants.

But she was amazing when we washed her. She was still and quiet and let us lather her up and wash her nether regions without complaint. So she does have some big girl pants after all. I now have to clip her nails. I cannot do this alone but Cate does not want to participate because she thinks it will be awful - but she he going to have to put her big girl pants on too.

Tonite is Halloween. We have left the lights off and kept quiet. This is because last year we left a big basket of goodies outside and a horde of children got out of an SUV and took the lot. Sort of destroys the trick or treat thing so we could not be bothered.

1 comment:

  1. We had zero tricker treaters, so now there are a few pounds of candy for me to not eat.