I have my very own troll.

William Skyvington has been pursuing me relentlessly for years and leaving a trail of insulting messages on my blog. These comments are often subtle – but sometimes very direct. He has even on occasion sent me insulting emails when I do not respond to his comments.

I have indulged him to date because I think he is a little bit stranger than the average bear - and lives alone in the wilds of France - with only goats and donkeys for company. I suspect he drinks quite a bit and this may occasion his most virulent outbursts.

Who am I – as a citizen of the world – to deny him the obvious pleasure he gets from castigating me for my very many sins – blogging and otherwise.  

Until recently I had never deleted any of his comments but - the two posted on the weekend were just an insult too far. These first was;

“You say: “We will be able to put our Bose system back into storage. We can only operate this by using a voltage converter which is the size of a small refrigerator and weighs six tonnes.” By “voltage converter”, I imagine you mean an old-fashioned transformer. The allusion to a refrigerator that weighs six tonnes is pure Bulgarian technology. I trust you paid Boris a fine sum for his precious advice. In Aussie parlance, Badger, you come through at times as what we used to call a sucker”.

(William apparently thinks I paid a Bulgarian to tell me about transformers. Actually I spoke to Mr. Google and Mr. Amazon).

Then:

“In kindly old-fashioned Aussie terms, Badger, you've always occupied a special place in my scientific mind (ever since you asked me how to convert the trellis of my rose garden into a cage for cats in Vienna) as an amazingly dumb bugger... “

(William – in common with some others - apparently takes my blog – and my comments on other blogs – seriously. This is rarely wise).

I found both these comments just too offensive even for my hardened ears – so deleted them. This enraged William:

“Badger: I think you’ll find that, once you start censuring comments to your blog (simply because such observations offend your money-based nouveaux-riches pompousness, vulgarity and obsessive spending), readers will discover that you’re hiding something. Maybe they won’t… which is the best thing that I might wish you. Meanwhile, in view of your censure, I consider you as an unfriendly curmudgeon who lacks balls.”

William –The only thing I have been hiding is my view of you as a gold plated, steaming, honking tosser with more than enough vitriol and spite than can be good for a person. I don’t give a rat’s ass about you and your funny little world.

I would very much appreciate it if you would piss off and leave me alone. There are millions of other bloggers you can bother the shit out of.

All future comments and emails of yours will be deleted.

Have a nice life.