Saturday, September 24, 2011

We are back in Berlin

Berlin Wall - Mitte

We are back in Berlin staying in a – ahem – modest apartment in Mitte.

Last time we were here we could not find Checkpoint Charlie – possibly the only tourists in the history of the city since 1961 to have this problem – but we were tired and emotional at the time. This time we are actually staying in something call Go-apartments Checkpoint Charlie so we do not have this problem.

The apartments are of the type that Cate would refer to as a ‘shithole’ but my brief was to find something ‘nice and economical’ which of course in Berlin are mutually exclusive.

The rest of us are quite happy with the accommodation. It is very clean and tidy - the rats are very well behaved. Once we determined the problem with the beds it was relatively easy to reconstruct them.

Well Cate and I decided we could not plug all the holes in the wall with newspaper so we needed to huddle together for warmth and I moved to her side of the bed and this sent it into a spasm and it collapsed onto the floor.

A temporary fix was made and – in the belief that it was her bed that was faulty we moved to my side – which also threw in the towel and after much popping and snapping this also collapsed in a heap.

This necessitated closer investigation so we had to disassemble the bed and then discovered that some moron had at some stage put the bed together without putting the middle legs firmly on the floor - so that there was nothing the take the weight. Problem solved.

That – and some minor adjustments to the paper clips holding up the curtains in the living room and everything is pretty well shipshape.

We do have a nice little garden where we can see that balloon thing that Cate made me go up in today. I did not enjoy that one bit because I don’t like heights in balloons or tall buildings. Mountains and cliffs do not bother me at all – balloons I hate.

The actual re-creation of Checkpoint Charlie is quite possibly the most awful piece of tourist kitsch in the history of the universe.

There are two slovenly thugs lounging about in filthy US army uniforms with threadbare caps – looking like they eat their Spaghetti Napolitana off them - holding tattered US flags – being photographed by desperate hordes of eager tourists trying to capture a piece of history. Sheesh.

The US Army should take legal action against these people for defamation.


  1. If I didn't like balloons then I think it would be quite appropriate to punish/reward my spouse with Third World accomodations as well. I have no idea if I like or dislike balloons, though. I have roofed some rather tall commercial buildings but that was over half my life ago, so I don't remember my level of like. I did think it was nice for you to share your definition for the word 'shipshape'. Maybe someday 400 years from now virtual tourists will want to see the re-creation of the hotel where The Badger stayed in Berlin, but of course it most likely will be a hologram. (Germany, badger, say, isn't the word dachshund->"badger hound" in German?)

  2. Have you developed a thick German accent and drinking only Schnaps?

  3. who went into spasms and collapsed on the floor? ahahaha!

  4. Bed, spasms, collapsing on the floor..? Damn, Badger. I had no idea your bedroom antics were so...lively.

    The husband left Berlin for Vienna yesterday. I like to think of you two passing each other.

  5. Another city I won't need to visit. Bad beds are the pits!

    That flashing avatar to my left hurts my eyes! *arghh*

  6. esbboston:I could well be a Badger Hound - but hey isn't the word for hund dog - then i would be Badger dog.

    Sandy: My German accent is rather gute! But I drink only Jameson.

    Simon: Just as well - you cannot spasm on the bed,

    smedette: You should have been there when I was young. I will keep and eye out for him.

    Merisi: The city you should see.

  7. you're so funny. i'm with merisi by the way, i don't think berlin is my speed. though i am "old enough" to say that i have visited both the kitsch version of checkpoint charlie, as well as the original, through which i was forced to smuggle about 14 of my grandmother's gold necklaces by wearing them under my sweater. That was my parents' idea. I also took a barbie under my sweater. That was my idea.

  8. TNDW: I am sure the original was much better - but not for the German people - I like the thought of the barbie under your sweater.