Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Rats have to die somewhere

Copenhagen was a surprise. More beautiful than I had expected and so modern and…well…Danish. Just wonderful. So much wood. I am surprised there are any trees left.

Although - there are some very strange old buildings and one can see why it is the land of fairy tales.

The Danish people are very sophisticated and do not smoke at all in most restaurants and apparently – unlike Vienna – it is a not a city rule that everyone must take their dog out to evacuate its bowels onto the footpath at least once every day.

This is a good rule. I am writing to the appropriate authorities in Wien.

The hotel l was pretty good for the first day but went to pieces on the Friday. That was when the Aarhus Death Metal Football Club (ADMFC) moved into the room next to us and played music so loud the walls vibrated and I lost two tooth fillings.

The balcony overlooking Rådhuspladsen then proved to be not such an advantage as the ADMFC went out on to the balcony next to us and had smoking (it was a non-smoking floor), drinking and shouting competitions.

We complained to the child on the front desk and she said that she had had a number of complaints and didn’t know what to do. She spoke to them and they ignored her.

We said ‘move us’ and she did.

Our next room was a bit bigger and had a larger balcony – and was fine until the ‘Roaring Machine’ started at 5:00 on Sunday morning. This proved to be a window washer but I have no idea what the machine was like because I went to have a look at what could make so much noise and it was gone. Why would you clean windows with a machine like that at 5:00 on a Sunday morning?

I thought windows were cleaned with a mop and squeegee? Does the Roaring Machine make the dirt fall off?

The machine was so noisy to us because our air conditioner did not work so we had to leave our balcony door open and the Roaring Machine was under our window.

And this was fine until the rats died in the bathroom drains rendering the bathroom unusable.

Cate went to complain about these things but found an unsympathetic ear at the front desk.

The new child at the front desk was sharpening her crayons but let Cate know that apparently the behavior of the guests was not the hotel’s problem – it was our problem. If they want to smoke and play loud music and shout – and even piss into Rådhuspladsen - there is apparently nothing the hotel can do about it.

And we have to clean the windows sometime. And rats have to die somewhere – what you think they just vaporize into the atmosphere?

But we are not complaining. We had a wonderful time. I don’t have time to tell you more today.

Tomorrow I will tell you why no sane person should have more than two ‘Memories’ cocktails at Lê Lê Vietnamese Kitchen and why it is not a good idea to go to the Viking Museum at Roskilde if there is going to be a bomb scare at Roskilde railway station.


  1. I'm telling you, I'll make all the hotel arrangements for your trips if you just send me your VISA #. You won't regret it.

  2. Dull simply is not in your vocabulary.
    While we sit here and stare into the blue blue sky, you go and fetch a rat. *drats*

    Wv: pricivi

  3. "roaring machine" priceless.

  4. I actually was under the impression that dead rats did indeed vaporize into the atmosphere. The truth is much more horrible than I could have imagined.
    Also- the comment on my alien post-hilarious. Thank you.