It is usually a cat

Duck in Oxford

Cate is now sometimes cycling to work. I am not sure why because it takes her an hour to prepare for this – the ride takes only 15 minutes so she gets no exercise – and it is simply dangerous to ride on roads in Indianapolis.

People have been killed after hitting giant potholes and being propelled into the road with great velocity.

I have protested about this – with as much success as I had when she decided to buy a dog – which has not yet arrived.

But I have now worked out where the cats can eat and where the dog doors need to go. I am now eagerly awaiting Rover’s arrival. Well not really but you know what I mean.

Our Green Mountain Boxwoods on the front porch made it all the way thru winter and died in spring. This was most disheartening and but is about average for me.

I have planted two new ones and have high hopes for them. I have replaced the Hollies I killed with Roundup – which kills plants easily but has little effect on weeds – as others have noted.

My lawn patches were entirely unsuccessful and I will need to revisit this and try another plan.

Our fountain has not yet been installed by the electricians and I have complicated things by running over and shredding its electric cord with the lawn mower. But they are skilled people and will be able to fix this.

We are going to Denver tonite – all things being OK with United. We are staying in Denver for two nights and then the Stanley hotel in the mountains for a couple of nights.

This hotel has special rooms with ghosts in them. I have not found our ghost yet. The weird and ghostly noises at night in our house usually turn out to be a cat doing something awful. But I am sure they are there somewhere.

Badger has always been envious

Traeger Lil' Pig

Now just as I was being mesmerized by the Texans – one of our very own comes out and tries to top them with his own particular brand of hare-brained theories.

Maurice Newman – former Chair of the ABC, former Chair of the Stock Exchange – former Chancellor of Macquarie University and currently Chair of the Prime Minister’s Business Advisory Group said:

“We have been subjected to extravagance from climate catastrophists for close to 50 years. This is not about facts or logic. It’s about a new world order under the control of the UN. It is opposed to capitalism and freedom and has made environmental catastrophism a household topic to achieve its objective.”

New world order?

But what really can you expect from someone who works for a Prime Minister who most famously said ‘Climate change is crap’ and has in his Cabinet at least one Creationist.

But – more importantly – we have just had our first Tornado warning of the season. I get a warning on my phone and these grow in scale until I am told to flee to the basement. This has not happened yet – but I am poised to hurtle downstairs with a cat under each arm. There are plenty of supplies in the basement and I can last for days. Importantly – there is chocolate in the fridge.

On Thursday we are going to Denver for a long weekend. This is to celebrate Badger’s birthday on Saturday. This is a very special occasion and Badger is thinking of getting a Traeger wood pellet grill so that he can smoke meat properly.  Lenny has one of these and Badger has always been envious.

To them it is real

He's coming to get us

You think I make this stuff up don’t you – but it’s real. There are many bat-shit crazy people in the USA – but Texas just takes the biscuit.

So the story is that in a few months the US Army is holding a training exercise in Texas and surrounding states.

The lunatic fringe in Texas - including some barking mad conservative commentators - say that this is part of a secret plan to impose martial law, take away people’s guns, arrest political undesirables, launch an Obama-led hostile takeover of Texas – or do some combination of the above.

There are also stories that the government is building vast corridors beneath some disused Walmarts. Perhaps these will be used to house the prisoners or store the confiscated guns.

All normal so far – there are many dickwits out there who have immersed themselves in hordes of conspiracy theories which reach the far corners of paranoia and have made many people totally unhinged.

But then – the Texas Governor asked the Texas state guard to keep a close eye on the military exercises to ensure that it was not part of a vast government plot.

Well this confirmed to the nutters that the takeover was coming so the have all been buying ammunition and sharpening their pitchforks.

Now some conservative presidential candidates have weighed in. They have been careful not to confirm the Obama-led takeover but – pandering to the fruitcakes in their base – say that Texas must be careful of this untrustworthy President who tramples all over the constitution and is certainly capable of anything.

The sane people in Texas are doing their best to stop this madness from going on – but it is Texas – where they try to change school text books to include creationism.

Walmart has even issued a statement saying there is no digging going on under their disused stores.

I gaze in awe at these epic episodes of stupidity on a mass scale and really do wonder about the people whose brains are so badly discombobulated that to them – it’s real.