Quark with Beebalm?

One of my Bees in Topkapi is in the above photos.

Spring has certainly sprung here. All the cafes have tables and chairs outside and the smokers have emerged coughing and spluttering into the sunlight and are happily lazing about in the brilliant sunshine polluting the atmosphere.

I am back to T Shirts but some people are still rugged up against the non-existent cold. One of the real problems with Wien is that when it is really cold you dress warmly – but it has to be stuff you can take off quickly – because most of the shops are heated to sauna temperature.

A major offender is Ringstrassen Galerien where in winter it is sweltering inside. On the two occasions Cate and I went there before Christmas we didn’t stay long because it was simply too uncomfortable. We just grabbed some owls and got out of there.

You buy Gaz at the Tankstelle – BP to be precise. It is (of course) excruciatingly expensive.

It comes in the biggest Gaz bottles I have ever seen. I am sure these rarely ever combust spontaneously but if they do then Am Heumarkt 7 is in trouble. I think we will lose Stiege 5 and 6 and there will be some collateral damage next door. I have left notes on the doors of the neighbours suggesting that they get their affairs in order.

Unfortunately I bought two bottles (before I realised how big they were) so that I would have a backup. This is to prevent running out of Gaz half way through a barbecue and having to finish everything in the microwave.

The second bottle is in the basement and I fear that the primary explosion will trigger a secondary explosion that will take out large tracts of Stadtpark and send most of the ducks to Slovakia. By the way – the pond is almost empty – of water and ducks. I shall investigate further.

I cycled to Star Bikes to get a pump and a new widget to replace the one that broke when Cate collided with me some time ago. I also got a snazzy bicycle tire pump that tells we what the pressure is.

The cycle paths in Wien are just fabulous. Of course there are any number of morons who park on the ones along the footpaths and force cyclists onto the roads – but one just has to be careful.

There are also cyclists who travel at astonishing speeds and a collision with one of these would by horrendous – so I keep my eyes open for them.

On Friday I rode down to and through the Prater and then back through Gasometer City and along the Donaukanal on a dedicated cycle path. Just Brilliant! There are some exciting parts where you ride right next to the Canal and there is a big drop to the water – and no fence.

This is ideal territory for a Dummkopf like me but I managed not to fall in – I would hardly be able to blame Muffin for that.

I tried to book dinner on Saturday night for The Wiener Salon but Felix said that they had already closed for Easter – which is a week away - but I guess there is no point being successful if you can’t take time off when you want to. I must speak to Cate about that.

We had a great meal in Martinjak in Am Ring – which is one of the few places where you can get really good food at reasonable prices. The desserts included ‘Quark with Beebalm”.

Quark is a type of cheese – and I am not really sure about Beebalm – but it may just be a Wiener name for Honey? Someone out there will enlighten me – although I notice that very of few of my questions get answered. Perhaps this is what has happened to the Bees?

We set off again our second expedition to buy outdoor furniture and found exactly what we (i.e. Cate) was looking for. We arrived five minutes before they closed and Cate immediately spotted what she wanted so the transaction went off remarkably smoothly.

Of course they only take cash so I will have to go to the bank on Monday and Tuesday to get the required amount.

We were almost back at the car (50 metres away) before Cate decided that she did not like the colour she had just chosen - but my wracking sobs persuaded her that she should stick with the original choice.

My Life Would Suck Without You!

This is the title of the new song by Kelly Clarkson.

I just don’t know how they come up with names that are just so…well….romantic.

Anyway – my sentiments exactly about my Blog readers.

Easter has snuck up on us and we (i.e. Cate) has decided that we will go to either Ljubljana or Prague over Easter.

Google tells me it is about 400 kilometers to each place so that will be a nice relaxing four hour drive – or a less relaxing 3 hour drive if Cate decides to put the pedal to the metal.

I am not allowed to drive on trips like this. Cate says I frighten her. I frighten her? She scares the bejesus out of me. At least I carry a wooden peg to bite on so that I don’t scream like she does when I drive her to work.

I mean – if I want to die I have a cat called Muffin on whose services I can call at any time.

Muffin’s recent adventures reminded me that we had a cat named Robertson Davies Riccardo Patrese (AKA Roger Rogerson). Robbie used to often sleep on the top step of the stairs outside our bedroom and – because of his colour and the lack of light at that particular spot – was effectively invisible when he was on the step.

It is a miracle that over the many years he did this he did not kill at least one of us.

Robbie was supposed to come to Wien with us but was a daydreamer and wandered in front of a car in Sydney a few weeks before we were due to leave.

This was an astonishing outcome because Robbie did very little other than eat and sleep and the fact that he actually dragged his sorry fat ass out on to the road where he could be hit by a car was something of a mystery to us all. Maybe he was on a promise of a Mars Bar from the people across the road.

There is an outside chance that Cate will have to go to Sydney for a couple of days next week but she is strenuously trying not to - as it would be a killer trip and could well put an end to our weekend trip.

It is mighty fine weather here at the moment – almost balmy. I set forth today on my bicycle and went to the Digital Camera store in Stiftgasse and then to Alt Wien for Caruso Coffee.

Then I rode up Rennweg to the bike shop to get a pump – but got there between 12 and 2 – which of course is Mittagspause. A surprisingly large number of shops close for a lunch break – and I get caught a surprisingly large number of times.

If they had their way, shop owners would only open one day a week for an hour and we could all make our own arrangements.

As it is news day I should report that:

Nine out of every ten Austrians reject Pope Benedict’s teaching that condoms should not be used to combat the spread of Aids. (The other 1 out of 10 clearly did not understand the question or are halfwits).

Twenty-three per cent of kids aged four and five in Austria speak German badly, of whom a third are native speakers of the language. I can safely report that 100% of all Australians who live in Am Heumarkt 7/5 speak German very badly or not at all.

Austria's superb theft record is at risk after it was revealed that over 20,000 bicycles were stolen in the country last year - that's 66 per day - and police only managed to solve 25 of the crimes. I am not sure what the ‘superb’ refers to but will make enquiries.

However I am well aware of the rate of bicycle theft in Wien and never, ever leave my bike unlocked when I pop into shops.

Have a nice weekend and remember- My Life Would Suck Without You!

But there are no gnats on the moon!

A few weeks ago I a had an email asking me if I would write a blurb on Vienna for publication on a website. I was offered $100 which I accepted with alacrity – I can use this as a down payment on our next dinner at Bauer.

The publication date was yesterday – and I am pleased to say the Wien made the cut. Here is the site:

http://www.askmen.com/specials/2009_top_29/vienna.html

I went to collect my barbecue from the Miele shop. They sell only Miele electrical goods – but also Weber barbecues.

Last time I was there I paid a deposit of €100 in cash as their Bankomat machine wasn’t working. Today it was working – but wouldn’t accept my card. Of course they don’t take credit cards so I wandered off the bank to get cash (I had to go the bank as the cash machine has a small limit).

I am surprised that any commerce takes place at all here. It is really difficult to buy anything expensive as so many places don’t take credit cards.

Last time I said that if I ever bought anything else in Wien I would have it delivered. I am saying it again and this time I mean it.

They wheeled out quite the biggest box I have ever seen and I trundled it home on my little trolley. It was too heavy to get up the steps so I had to take it down the steps and across the courtyard to the elevator. It sort of fell of half way down and crashed down about a dozen steps (sounds familiar) but did no damage.

Oh Dear! It’s too big for the elevator.

So I unpacked it and took it up in four separate loads. I must say though that it was really easy to assemble - which is just as well because the assembly instructions were in four languages – none of them English. I have only a couple of bolts left over and don't think these are vital.

The operating manual is also not in English but I think I can manage using the following procedures:

1 Light barbecue

2 Cook meat

Now – I just have to find where they sell Gaz.

I got many strange looks today as I went out and about and covered up as much as possible with my hat and sunglasses. When people stared at my battered face I just said ‘Meine Frau’ and they nodded understandingly. Well – they wouldn’t have believed me if I had said ‘Meine Katze’.

I went to tell the man in the optometrists why I was not there for my 10:00 o’clock appointment and he said I should be in hospital. I though this was an overreaction but perhaps he is a bit frail.

Cate is agitating about her new camera. She doesn’t know what kind she wants except it has to be ‘a big one that does everything’. I have told here that I will get her telephoto lens so big that she can take pictures of gnats on the moon.

(This will also be excellent for Bee pictures).