It's pronounced Howda

Kinderdijk - Moving the cap on a mill to catch the wind

Windmills are in a row because each one moves water just a little way - from one canal to the next. So a row of them will move the water from the Polder to a series of canals – each one a little bit higher than the one below it. A Dutch person could explain it better.

We are now back in Vienna. Well – Gwenyth and I are. Cate was back for half an hour but had to go straight to Moscow from Vienna airport and will not be back until Friday night.

We were however very lucky that Cate was with us at the check-in in Amsterdam and did not have to fly direct to Moscow because without her illustrious status on Austrian Airlines we would have had no chance of getting our bags through without excess baggage charges – laden as they were with booty from Bruges and Holland.

We had gone no more than 100 metres from our hotel on the first morning in Bruges when Cate became transfixed by some crystal candlesticks in a shop window.

These were at a price which made her think they must have been made of plastic – accustomed as we are to Viennese extortion – but the owner – who for some reason was wearing what looked like a grey plastic squirrel on his head – demonstrated to us that they were in fact the finest quality German crystal and Cate was so pleased with this she bought three pairs – of varying sizes – each weighing about 10 kilos.

There were a number of less weighty additions to our baggage along the way but in the middle of Holland – temporarily forgetting about the candlesticks – and in a moment of cheese induced insanity – we bought an enormous quantity of Gouda.

Indeed the most delicious Gouda cheese (pronounced Howda) we have ever tasted. Not that we are experts but this had all sorts of flavours including pepper and nettle.

Well we just had to have it and hang the consequences - so we bought about ten kilos.

We realised – getting off the Elodie – that we had a problem – when we could not get our bags up the stairs and had to be rescued by Michel and Sander. I was imagining a scenario where a taxi driver grabbed one of our bags and tore the handle off and threw it into the taxi – leaving the bag sitting on the footpath.  

At Schipol we were well over the weight limit for mere mortals but Cate’s status saved us and we now have enough Gouda to last until we vomit at the mere thought of Gouda. 

My knees have recovered to the point where I can now walk up and down stairs without crying and my bum is almost back to normal.

The most danger we were in on the whole trip was from bicycles in Amsterdam.  They are absolutely lethal for newcomers and are silent and deadly. At night almost none has any lights and they are upon you like a Lion upon a Gazelle. I escaped death by a whisker on more than one occasion. 

Now I know why Windmills are in rows

We straggled into Amsterdam on Saturday afternoon. I would like to tell you that we got better as the week went on - but we were all completely knackered by the time we reached Elodie for the last time.

There were sighs – and some sobs – of relief – as we clattered onto the docks in the centre of Amsterdam to be greeted by our Skipper Michel – and dragged our aching bums up the gangplank. It was not just me who was feeling the strain – almost everyone was doing it tough by the end.

When we had our final dinner together they asked us what the highlight of the tour was, I said for me that it was reaching the Elodie each evening. The last 10 kilometres each day were always the toughest and were always excruciating.

There were no young people on this tour – and I was not the oldest by a long way – so some people had a harder time than I did – but I am sure no one had knees as bad as mine and I did have to take one morning off during the week to give them a bit of a break.

However – it was a sensational trip and we will certainly never see a country more beautiful – or windier – or wetter - than Holland. 

I finally discovered what a Polder is and how Windmills really work – and why they are in rows.  I sure waited a long time to find that out.

Holland is bird and duck heaven. And I have never seen so many birds in sanctuaries. We took hundreds of photos but many of them were taken in a hurry because if you let the pack get away you could not catch them again without an effort that would damn near kill you.

In answer to the question as to why in October. Well – last year we cycled in Italy in August and nearly died of heat exhaustion. Determined not to repeat this mistake we thought we would go later in the year when it would be cooler.

I did not realise that in Holland at the end of October the conditions would be like they are in Lapland. I mean – in my bag I had sandals and shorts and my swimming trunks! Good grief – what was I thinking?

We survived only by putting on each day all the clothes that we brought with us. I had luckily brought a beanie and gloves which I have never taken off. What I really needed was the gear I am preparing for Norway in January.

Anyway – here we are in Amsterdam – now in a hotel. The hotel is excellent. This time I got the hotel just right – the location however is another matter. But it is only a 20 minute tram ride from the city – or we could hire a bike. Yeh right!

Apparently Holland is beautiful

Zierikzee Netherlands

There is no Internet at all on the boat. We are staying at a small Dutch port that has WiFi.

For the last four days we have cycled 50 kilometres every day – mostly into fierce headwinds. Apparently the Dutch only have headwinds.

The weather is freezing. Sometimes it rains.

I am told that the Dutch countryside is beautiful but I am solely focused on getting back to the boat before death overtakes me.

I focus on staying on the wheel of the person in front of me. I grit my teeth and knees and pedal like a loon. 

I think our tour leader was a former Dutch Olympic cyclist. In the morning she takes off and leaves a trail of gasping cyclists in her wake. She has thighs of steel.

She stops every now and then to enable us to catch up and we flop sobbing in heaps at the side of the road.

After 10 minutes she boots us back onto our bikes and we have to try and keep up with her because without her we are finished – Holland consisting mainly of water and dykes - and the tour leader has the only map.

The food is sensational as we have a real chef who cooks gourmet food. His name is Sander and he is only 26 but has cooked all over the world. I am usually too tired to eat but Cate mashes mine up and feeds it to me.

Cate is taking lots of photos so that when we get back to Vienna I can see where we have been.